Love Spit Love – Am I Wrong?

I’ve been listening for this song for quite a while for now. And, I really feel that I can relate closely with it. I think this song is a sad song, a bittersweet song, but it’s also a little optimistic. He’s letting go of something that needs to be let go of, it seems. And, he’s accepted that it’s over, it’s for the best. But, it’s still sad to have to leave it. Right? Am I close? or, Am I wrong?

I mean, it is about someone who is confused with life. This person is turning away from what they once believed in and trying to find new meaning in life. Well, It focuses on the uncertainty that we all feel sometimes.. The lyrics are quite powerful, such as : “Lay the blame on luck”, “You let life get in your way..”, etc. I think, We’ve ever done that in our life, don’t we..?? And, not to mention that the ballads melody is totally addictive..!!

When I hear this, my mind keep telling myself trying not to hold on to long, that can leave deep scars, that may not heal. Try to be strong for yourself, cause I am worth it. What I’ve been going through right now (whether career terms, love, etc), I know that these will all make sense some day..

Goodbye, lay the blame on luck..
Goodbye, Lay the blame on luck..
Goodbye, Lay the blame on luck..

Yep, Enjoy the song & video below.. Although, the song itself is way better from the video, but I hope you can enjoy it as well as me.. 🙂

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A Reflection of Hope & Effort

Well, currently I’m in a really daring adventure month. Going from one opportunity to another opportunity and from one city to another city. Although I’m enjoying the challenge to experience “selling” my resume to someone else, but now, it strike my mind. Honestly, I just have a feeling that “selling” myself is kind of tough, quite tricky, and also can be brutal.

You know, still I’m a normal guy. That’s why it got me thinking. Between the rejections, the unanswered phone calls or unreturned emails, it’s making me to take it personally, kind of felt giving up altogether, and even worse, assume that they are “right” and I am “wrong” when my efforts go unrewarded.

Now, particularly in the face of rejection, I’m slightly starting to lose faith, and too many “no” sends me running for the bubble bath, where I sit and let the doubt creep in. “Maybe I’m in the wrong business, “Maybe I’m going for a job that’s just way too competitive,” or ” Maybe I’m a total idiot for thinking this would ever work out at all,” I wonder.

But, complaining will just make things worse, right..??

Call me the crazy optimist, but I’d like to think that most of us won’t let a few measly rejections get in the way of pursuing an opportunity that really matters to us, and that there really is room at the top for more than one. If you’re in agreement, then we’ve got to believe in ourselves like never before, rather than feel like a victim of circumstances.

You’ve heard it before, but allow me to repeat this obvious truth: “If I don’t believe in myself, then who will..??” So, now is really not the good time for give up..

I’m writing this article just to renew my confidence, you know..
As a reflection about what I’m going through right now, about my Hope & Effort..
After all, one more “no” is closer to a “yes”, I hope… 🙂

It’s Called, Dreams

This week, I’m kind of back to “square one” in order to pursuit what I want. And on this week, I can feel that life is an amazing thing. Why? Well, try to round the Moon clockwise, and whether it is 1950, 2010 or the year 3009, pretty much life is same. Yes, technology changes, lifestyles & types of jobs may change, but overall life is same.

It’s all about to make a so called “dreams” come true.

In My Humble Opinion, some people see life as a big test, others see life as something to experience, enjoy and learn from. Whatever you view life as, I’m sure that there is one aspect that keeps you alive, and that is your dreams.

You see, so many people fail in life because they are happily sailing along, thinking they are headed somewhere, but the road of life has a bend in the road. Instead of adjusting, people smack bang into the wall. From there they get off the high way, and float. Then, they tend to agree with parents that life is hard, and there is no point to anything!

I’ve met some people that give up trying. This is unfortunate but it happens in many cases. After all that is life, and if you are to grow in life, you have to have a bit of stress! As the saying goes, if it doesn’t “kill” you, it can only make you stronger!

A dream is essential, and without it, people perish. Look around and you will see this true. I have found that a lot of people dream, they may even try. But what happens? They try and they meet failure on first attempt, so they stop trying. Another tries a bit more, and failure after failure, they are knocked out of the game.

In my personal story, I’ve tried so hard to make all my dreams come true. Going from one opportunity to another opportunity. And honestly, I’ve experienced the fail, a lot.

But, I do believe,
that my life is defined by its opportunities, even the ones I miss
..

And, I won’t give up, because
I want to prove to myself,
that I can learn how to dance through life on difficult times..

The Story is Not Over Yet..

.

What is the purpose of Life..?? I don’t know the answer for that honestly.
What is the purpose of  MY LIFE.??
Well this is an entirely different query altogether,
and this question does have an answer.
But, I don’t want to make you boring with my life purpose story.
Instead, I just want to tell you about the perspective..

I guess, the one size fits all reason for me, being here is,
to learn, to grow in my understanding of myself – .

The lessons I live through are sometimes quite challenging.
I know it’s probably not a revelation that growing-up does have its pains.
But I do understand that there is never any reason for me to be discouraged.
Today’s trials are destined to be tomorrow’s enlightenments.
Difficult situations arise in my experience
to either make me aware of my strengths,
or to inspire me to walk in a new direction…

Well now,
I find myself feeling overwhelmed by the daunting circumstances in my life.
But, this is the time to stop, take a breath, step back within myself
and just remember that this story I’m living in,
in this moment is far from over yet.
There is indeed much more to come, many more moments to experience.
What I’m going through now is only one scene of a much bigger storyline.
And there will be more to see if I just keep moving. Move through it…

Life’s little stings,
which are meant to motivate my spiritual growth,
don’t usually hurt as bad as we ultimately make it hurt for ourselves
by refusing to let go of the thing that is stinging us.
The pain I’ve suffered will move when I move, when I stop holding onto it.
When I resolve to go forward and actually see how the story I’m living evolves from the mess it may seem to be now…

So, I don’t want to hit the pause during this time,
because I want to watch the rest of the story of my life unfold.
Hope feeds on motion.
So keep it moving, because The story is not over yet

Ketika DIA bertanya..

“Fabiayyi aalaaa i rabbikuma tukadzdzibaan”..

Sudah tiga malam berturut-turut, Mesjid di sebelah rumah selalu memutar ayat yang sama saat menjelang Subuh.. Perlahan, mengiringi datangnya fajar. Dan, ketika mendengarnya sekarang, Ayat dalam surat Ar-Rahman tsb terasa sangat “meyesakkan”.. Dan, itu membuatku berpikir. Apakah Engkau sedang “bertanya” padaku, Ya Rabb..??

Ku ambil Wudhu’, lalu melangkah tenang dalam buaian Tahajjud, dan merenung panjang. Dingin terasa perlahan menelusup dalam simpul saraf yang menegang menantang perjalanan hidup..  Perjalanan hidup..  Perjalanan yang terasa panjang dan melelahkan. Tak terasa 23 tahun terlewati. Kini saya di sini merasa belum menjadi siapa-siapa.

Langkah takdir membawaku kesini. Keluar untuk mencari bekal ilmu dengan harapan besar untuk penghidupan yang lebih baik secara materi. Kemudahan demi kemudahan membuaikan perjalananku. Panggilan-Nya tidak lagi merengkuh hati untuk segera menghadap, Detik detik malam pun berlalu dalam hening tanpa sujud yang menemaninya. Semuanya berjalan begitu saja, dan hampa.

“Fabiayyi aalaaa i rabbikuma tukadzdzibaan”

Seperti roda pedati, perjalanan hidup adakalanya di atas, ada kalanya ia terjungkir ke bawah bersama kerikil dan lumpur. Lantas apakah aku harus menyalahkan Allah akan kondisiku yang sedang ada di bawah? Mengapa kesulitan ini semakin terasa begitu menghimpit, Ya Rabb? Apa sesungguhnya yang sedang Kau tunjukkan padaku?

Ketika Allah bertanya, “Fabiayyi aalaaa i rabbikuma tukadzdzibaan”.. “Nikmat Tuhan kamu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan?”, aku cuma bisa termenung merenungi jawabannya.. Ya Allah, Astaghfirullah…

Masih bersimpuh di atas sajadah, saya merasakan ada nikmat. Nikmat yang mungkin sudah terlupakan. Nikmat syukur, karena Dia masih memberiku kesempatan untuk ditanya..

Grown-Up: Train that Never Stop


What’s my age again? I’m 23 years old.. And somehow I think, so much of my life is wasted because I hate the idea of now and I love the idea of tomorrow. But when tomorrow comes and I still haven’t accomplished anything, I feel regret, depression, and ever so unfulfilled. Until, I realize about something that there is no turning back.

I mean, there comes a point in our life when We realize there is no turning back, right..?? We have all had that moment. The interesting thing is that some people are more equipped for this moment than others. Some people shut down and start to compensate in negative ways. Others embrace it and look forward to the future. Some people do both.

But, I guess, that’s why it’s called : Grow-Up.. And, this moment is pivotal because it is the start of my adulthood. As far as I’m concerned, how I deal with this moment has a lot to do with whether I ever really grow up at all – and, trust me, a lot of people at my age don’t..

I am not professing to have all the answers. Because honestly, I still struggle all the time to be used to with the idea for being like today, you know. Such as:

  • Financially independent – “make” money by my own
  • Emotionally independent
  • I’ve started on my career path & I don’t know where it end-up
  • I deserve something, but does not mean I will exactly get it
  • Figure out everything by myself
  • Admitted GENTLY when I failed, it means simply I wasn’t qualified enough
  • Make decisions, and it has to be really, really, really right

So, a few days ago, someone that I really respect told me, “Well, you have to grow up now“.. Honestly, those words have hit me so hard. No one starts at the finish line. And, the now is a foundation for it. Everyone has done something worthy, struggle, fail, and achieve,  and so do I. In simple sentence, “THINGS CHANGE”..

Yeah, “Things change, and It won’t stop”. Those words are the quintessence of growing up. These words summarize everything. Things change and when I fail to grasp that truth, I’ll suffer. Nothing lasts and nothing stays the same. My “kids day” is gone, my college day has long disappear, and all I have is NOW and, I hope, the future. Cause now I see, I’ll never stop this train..

Future-Worried Slaps Me

Have you ever had one of those days,
where nothing at all that monumental happens,
but by the end of it,
You have no idea of who you are anymore,
or what the hell you’re doing with your life?


I think, in career terms, that’s what happened for me right now.
I know, as I grown-up, there is always a new areas of experience,
where I have no guidelines, handle things badly, overreact, & get it wrong.

And again, I have to face it & just deal with it..

You see, when you reach at some stages of age on life,
you might be surprised to discover you still don’t have life quite figured out..
Especially, when your best plans are not working as you liked..
Then, it’s leaning to a self-doubt, future-worried, and fear.
All negativity starting to flash on mind, & self-confidence slightly fade away.

Because, honestly,
When everything in our life is right on track,
it’s easy to believe that things happen for a reason, it’s easy to have faith,
and also easy to give an advice or motivate others.
But when things start to go wrong, then it’s very hard to hold on to that faith.
It’s hard not to wonder what reasons these things happen for..

At the first place, the whole story looks so predictable. Study hard, go to college, graduate, then find a secure job, planning pension, meet a woman, and built a family. But in reality, even to get all of those predictable story arc, are not as simple as it sounds.

The real problem starts now, near around my mid-20’s, when I get thrown out into the world to do “whatever I want to” and realize that actually, the majority of the time is just been spent for surviving and helping others to survive. Kind of a bummer, especially when I spend the majority of my early 20’s of days looking forward to the freedom of being an adult to chase all my goals. This realization is enough to cripple me..

I know, the career path that I’ve chosen since a year ago will make me to deal a lot with uncertainty. Back to that time, I believed I can handle the challenge, and just being happy & excited to take it step by step. But, what I didn’t know is that dealing with uncertainty itself  is very stressful, especially when I experienced with my own-head to miss the best opportunity. And, I just can’t help myself to clear some air from all these future-worried.

Yeah, surely, now is the kind of time in my life at “the down” phase,
and, maybe this is exactly the times to behave & learn a lot as an adult..
To measure myself at least once with nothing to help me,
except my hands and my own head..
Well, for now, all I can think about, is to take “a leap of faith” route..

The Happiness

It’s pretty safe to say that at the end of the day, there are really only one or two things that truly matter. I don’t know, for you, maybe it’s making money with an amazing career, finding fame or prestige, have a stable relationship, etc. Wouldn’t you agree that an ultimate intention in life is to live well and be happy?

You know, the average person is living in a reality that is a reflection of the ideas and images in the world around them, rather than a reflection of what’s in their own mind.. That’s why, they don’t feel happy..Well, I’ve been lucky enough to meet some truly happy people over this few years, and I’ve learned lot from them.


They Know What Really Matters
It’s so easy to become swept up in a busy life, isn’t it? People jump hurdles just to convince themselves that it’s time to work on those all important and possibly life – changing goals, then they wake up one day and realize 10 years has passed. The truth is, that it’s hard enough to commit to doing what’s really important even if you know what ‘it’ is. But, what all I can see, they just know what really matters that related with things that actually they needed. In simple sentences, they know their priority, and just focussed on it.


They Don’t Blame Others
People don’t care about you, mostly. This isn’t because people are mean or hurtful, but simply because they are mostly focused on themselves. People who appear to be mean or hurtful don’t usually do it intentionally. There are exceptions to this, but generally the hurt you feel is a side-effect, not the principle cause. Then I understand, it’s just wasting time and energy to blame others for what I felt.


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The Fray – “Never Say Never”

The Fray - Never Say Never

What’s the key to The Fray’s success? Songs you can relate to. And, The Fray return with the second single “Never Say Never”. I’ve been enamored by the piano-ballads stylings of this song since the very first time I heard. “Never Say Never” is such a masterpiece that present on the soundtrack of the film Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen..

The song is about a direct love between two people who are “pulling apart and coming together again and again”..

And yet, The Fray described it perfectly..

I think “Never Say Never” as “a syrupy ballad” that is nothing short of astonishing. There’s falsetto towards the end and its romantic, wistful and full of understated grace. Backed by strings and a swelling rhythm section, it’s a polished and positive step forward for The Fray..

Yap, enjoy the song & video… 🙂

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Best Romantic Movie Quotes

Romantic of Love

For me, I like to watch movies for many reasons, but one is because of some great movie quotes. Once you hear something incredible in a movie, it becomes part of you and you never forget it. It’s recalled years later and makes the movie stand still in time.

So what I have done for you is complied my favorite movie quotes, and for this post is specially from romantic comedies movies, and my explanation for why they are all so wonderful.

1. Movie : “Rumor Has It”

The Quote:

I’m not going to stand here and tell you I can’t live without you, because I can…
I just don’t want to.”
– Sarah to Jeff

I feel this is one of the most raw and romantic quotes there is. Sarah is telling Jeff that she loves him so much that she doesn’t want anyone else, not then not ever. It is love in its simplest form in my opinion. Even though it was wrote into a script, it still has meaning to everyday people like you and me. Not everyone can experience that in their lifetime. But, hopefully I will, someday.. 🙂

2. Movie : “Sleepless in Seattle”

The Quote:

“It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together. And, I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home, only to no home I’d ever known. I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like… magic..”

Again, the romance and ideals behind this touch one’s heart, awaking the desires that we want to have that “one true love” and remind us that there is hope out there for us to find that which we do desire and deserve. A one, deep, “true” love, and that neither time nor distance could keep the lovers apart.

3. Movie : “Runaway Bride”

The Quote:

“Look, I guarantee there’ll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you’re the only one for me…”

We all want to have that, the happily-ever-after that we feel we deserve. But the truth behind storybook romances is laid out in this quote. It gives us pause to think about how we will go through life – not only the joys, but the heartaches that will surely happen as well. And it is best kept in mind there will be hard times as we consider who we desire to spend the rest of our life with.

4. Movie : “The Prestige”

The Quote:

“I want… I want you to be honest with me. No tricks, no lies, no secrets.”

This movie quote touches my heart because this describes exactly what I want in a relationship. I want complete honesty. I don’t understand how you can love someone and not be honest with him or her, in fact I think it’s impossible..

5. Movie : “The Notebook”

The Quote:

“I am no one special, just a common man with common thoughts. I’ve led a common life, there are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect, I’ve succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived. I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul and for me… that has always been enough.”

It’s so pure and so honest, no manipulation, not even a little…!!! This is how I want to be remembered, not as a common man of course, but for who I am. I too am no one special, I am just a common man living a common life. How do you want to be remembered after you leave this life?

6. Movie : “When Harry Met Sally”

The Quote:

“I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts… I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes.. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible…”

When Harry finds himself needing to explain why he loves Sally, he comes out with the most honest explanation of love I’ve ever heard. The little things are what makes love stick, not the big events, not the big mannerisms, but the things that linger after those big things fade. To her, his decision maybe seems irrational, the actions of a lonely man. But, Irrationality happens sometimes in love, especially when you feel you’re in danger of losing that love. This line makes me feel all warm inside no matter how many times I’ve seen it.

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I know We don’t live in a movie; this is the real world. But, for various reasons, each of these quotes have spoken volumes to me over the years, given me pause to think as I go through my own daily routines as well as daydreams. Contemplating the depth and value of love within my life..