Excuses on Our Mind

“Whatever you hold in your mind will tend to occur in your life.
If you continue to believe as you have always believed,
you’ll continue to act as you have always acted.
If you continue to act as you have always acted,
you’ll continue to get what you have always gotten.
If you want different results in your life or your work,
all you have to do is change your mind…”


You see,  I am constantly fascinated about what the mind can make me do (or not do). But, the complexity of our minds actually can become our own worst enemies when it comes to being happy. It will tell us one thing and desire another, or strive for a goal while secretly fearing for achieving it..


Here is the list that I’ve experienced at some point of my life :


“I’d be happier if I just had less to do..”
Minds trick that thinking we’d be happier if we didn’t have to work. However, the truth is that idleness often leads to boredom and depression. Surely, We need challenge and accomplishment to be happy. When you take all the pressure off from struggling, you lose your sense of purpose. I’ve experienced this when I was unemployed few months ago.



“I just need to discover the secret to success..”
I am convinced that there are no “secrets” to success. Living a successful life is pretty simple. Create a vision for the future, formulate a strategy, and then work hard to achieve it. If you fail, you try it again. I’m not sure if there are shortcuts or secrets to that.



“I like things just the way they are..”
Believing this is just letting yourself be set-up for a fall. Life is a journey of constant change. Some of which we control and some we don’t. Resisting changes or trying to control the changes is self-defeating. It will drain you. Change is inevitable. Accept this, learn to go with the flow, being adaptable, and then you might suprised for result.



“I’ll decide when I know for sure what to do..”
Over-thinking every decision will leave you stymied. Weighing the risks, analyzing the possibilities and making a plan are important, but nothing ever happens until a decision is made and action is taken. Don’t let your mind trap you into over-analyzing everything, because We very rarely have perfect information when making choices. Trust me!



“Dreams only come true for those that are lucky..”
Our minds will sometimes trick us into thinking we are victims of fate. They will lead us to believe “nothing good ever happens to me”. What our brains credit as the luck of others. We are full of potential and although your circumstances might add a degree of difficulty, just keep trying, and you might be surprised at the “luck” that comes your way. Never let your mind trick you into giving up. Something interesting happens when you eliminate the option of giving up. We don’t know what tomorrow holds, right?

Two Years in Real World..

 

I think, most people have fancy expectations that one day,
we will find a person who really understands our experiences,
the woman who will bring peace to our restless life,
the job where we can fulfill our potential,
the book which will explain everything,
and the place where we can feel at home..



Well, It’s official. I’ve been living in a real world for two years since I’ve graduated from college. I think, I feel like I’ve grown up a lot since then, and all fancy expectations have been replaced with real responsibility, you know?

I look at my life, and I’m no longer studying & learning about how to do something, I’m actually doing it. Suddenly I’m being paid money to do something because it needs to be done. It’s not a case where if I don’t do it or I’m late in doing it, then I just get a bad grade.

And I think that’s how you know when you’re an adult. Not that college is easy or anything. But there’s a world of difference when you realize that you’re actually doing stuff, forging the way ahead.

During on college, my biggest concern was still trying to get assignments done on time, ensure that I didn’t oversleep in the morning when my professor took test, internet football forum stuff, PC games, new episodes of Serial TV, how to impress a girl from different faculty, and how to bail from relationships when it becomes too serious, etc..

All adult serious stuff such as long terms career, money flow, secure investment, inflation, future families that I’m going to build, and so on, only appears as pretty much a joke of fantasy.

But,now, I realize that I have to consider about those things, seriously, looking at as real responsibilities.

And it’s not just responsibility with respect to the company I work for. There’s responsibility for future family too. Even if I don’t have a family now, I feel the responsibility on my shoulders for the “ghosts” of my future family to come. I don’t have a wife or children now, but chances are good that I will at some point in the future.

And with this responsibility, I’m suddenly forced to have financial responsibility. With actual amounts of money, I have to ensure that those amounts are preserved, grown, and enough down the line for future.

Two years ago, before living in a real world, all I have just fancy expectations. But, after two years in a real world, reality revealed some uncomfortable truths, where, I do have a lot of real responsibilities.

Bukan Hasil Akhir..




Akhir-akhir ini, ada satu pertanyaan naif dari orang-orang sekitarku, yang kadang secara tidak langsung melemahkan semangat perjuanganku. “Kenapa orang kecil seperti kamu mesti kerja habis-habisan? Toh, gajinya cuma segitu-gitu juga”.

Dalam sujud panjangku semalam, ingatanku kembali melayang ketika masih di kampung dulu. Dulu, aku sering ikut orang tua pergi ke pasar pagi, pada pukul dua pagi untuk menjual hasil panen. Bertemu dengan manusia-manusia sederhana, tukang gorengan, penyapu jalan, petugas pembersih toilet, buruh tani, dll.

Apakah mereka akan mendapatkan hasil besar? Tidak..!! Meskipun mereka tahu bahwa tidak mungkin untuk mendapatkan pendapatan sejumlah miliaran atau sekedar ratusan ribu rupiah saja, namun mereka tetap melangkah, ikut terlarut dalam geliat hidup.

Dalam dunia nyata, setiap orang tahu, ada sejumlah hadiah disediakan bagi mereka yang berkoneksi sangat kuat. Bermodal teramat besar. Dan berkedudukan begitu tinggi. Namun, jika saja orang-orang yang tidak memiliki semua keistimewaan itu memilih untuk berhenti sebelum bertanding, kehidupan mungkin akan berubah menjadi sebuah ironi ketidakberdayaan.

Aku jadi sungguh merasa malu. Karena aku yang notabene lebih beruntung seringkali menyia-nyiakan potensi. Terlalu mudah untuk berkeluh-kesah. “Untuk apa bekerja jika dibayar dengan upah murah? Cuma membuat kaya para pengusaha saja! “Ngapain susah-susah jika gaji cuma segini?”

Padahal, orang tua sudah menyekolahkan dengan bersusah payah, mengumpulkan rupiah, demi rupiah, dengan terengah-engah. Supaya aku bisa jadi “orang”. Namun, setelah lulus? Setiap kali dihadapkan pada jalan yang menanjak sedikit saja, sudah cepat merasa lelah. Ketika tersandung dengan kerikil kecil saja, sudah mengeluh seolah kehilangan kaki sebelah. Mungkin, bukan peristiwanya yang menjadi musibah, tetapi sikap. Astaghfirullah…

Ya Rabb, jadikanlah aku ada dalam barisan hamba-hamba-Mu yang mampu memenuhi & menunaikan panggilan hidup, dengan segenap bekal yang telah Kau amanahkan dalam diriku. Panggilan hidup untuk menjalani kehidupan itu sendiri, jauh dari rasa takut & khawatir tentang hasil akhirnya…

I’m 24 years old


People live much of their lives in uncertainty.
What might happen in a week…a month…a year…
Never knowing for certain who we will meet along the way.
Who among the world of strangers will hold our hand,
Touch our hearts, and share the pain of trying..
I wondered about my own life,
if I would be able to answer the questions had kept appearing..


What can I say..I’ve became 24 years old today..Yep, 24 years old, the age where I’m kind of used to living in the real world. But, many things that I still cannot answer regarding my own life. You see, when you reach at some stages of age on life, you might be surprise to discover you still don’t have life quite figured out.

I know that My Life Destination still exist on “fantasy” and still take a long “road” to arrive on it. I can’t even guess how often I believed the thoughts I was holding onto were true, only to find out otherwise. I guess, it’s easier to see what we want than to look for the truth.

Maybe, It really is about the journey. While the end result could be anything, it’s the process of developing that provides me the most learning opportunities. Eventhough it takes my breath away sometimes. But that’s life. You know? You never end up where you thought you wanted to be. I’m sure, We have experienced disappointment in our life. It’s okay, those are old dreams..

Well, this year..?? The year that I’ve been dumped by a girl, the year that I’ve resigned from the job that I thought “what I really wanted”, the year that I’ve been unemployed for several months, the year that I’ve been rejected from many interviews, the year where things in my life were changing like crazy, and damn it if it wasn’t the best year of my life. Because, if any one of those things hadn’t happened, I never would have ended up and turned out to be an engineer on this company. Of course, the chapter is continued…

That’s the funny thing about destiny though. It happens whether I plan it or not. If I look back on those days, It’s kind of funny though. I can understand that everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Happy moments, sad moments, even the sheer stupidity moments, all occurred to shape me into who I meant to be..

Dear God, thank you so much for everything that You gave to me, through challenges as tests of persistence and courage that life throws at me during my quest to help me grow as a person..But, Honestly for me, my main question right now is, “Am I really good person..?? I mean, not in a joke, not rhetorical, or not in form of sarcasm, or, still depends on point of view..??”

Life Lessons from Children



Well, on “Lebaran / Idul Fitri” this year, I couldn’t go back to my hometown to celebrate with most of my family (as usual tradition). So, I’ve spent my Lebaran day in Jakarta where I’ve met some of children at this neighbourhood. And, I can’t help myself on noticing something, you know.

See, it’s kind of weird, when We’ve already Grow-Up with lots of responsibility, we wistfully look back to those carefree childhood days..!! But honestly, As I make the transition to adulthood, I certainly can learn by looking at how children see the world..

These are the three main lesson that I can see from children :

1. Living in The Moment

As I grow older, my thoughts become increasingly focused on either the past or the future instead of the now. It seem that I’m picking-up the art of nursing grievances about things that happened and worrying about things that may never happen.

But for a child, everything is unfolding in real time before his eyes. They haven’t yet learn the art of being consumed by past or future..

2. Living in The Heart

As I Grow older, my mind starts dominating rather than my heart. The heart is to the fore – the spontaneous, that does not plan or calculate, but just spontaneously acts, creates and discovers.

If you asked a bunch of six year old children “who can paint?” All hands would shoot up. But, the same question asked to adults might not raise any hands at all! As we grow up, we imbibe very fixed ideas and conventions about what we can and cannot do, but children have no such restrictions – life for them is just one long play session.

3. An Unconditional Love

As I grow older, love is something different perspective. Haven’t you noticed that, when we give our love to someone, we often do it with the subtle expectations of what the other person should do. Then when that person we love doesn’t fulfill our expectations, there can be a great deal of disappointment & hurt.

But when a child loves, their love is unconditional, and when they smiles at you, can feel it beaming from them like the rays of a sunbeam. It is a kind of love that comes straight from the heart, without preconditions or expectations. It is a pure expression of who they are. This kind of love is something that we can still access as adults, isn’t it..??

Lebaran Sepi di Rantau



Mudik, bagi para kaum rantau (seperti awak) adalah suatu keharusan. TV dan koran ikut menyemarakkannya. Bahkan minggu-minggu terakhir di kantor, udah gak ada yang konsen kerja lagi. Walaupun secara fisik masih di kantor, tapi jiwa sepertinya udah ada di kampung.

Ya mudik merupakan fenomena Ilahiah. Ada rasa kerinduan yang mendalam ketika lebaran tiba untuk pulang kampung. Sebuah tradisi yang menyemai nilai-nilai Islam yang sungguh luar biasa menyentuh bagi setiap insan.

Tapi tahun ini, awak tidak bisa mudik, tidak leluasa berkumpul di kampung. Karena libur kantor / aturan kerja yang tidak bisa ditawar, dan harga tiket yang “mantap” ketika H-1. Walhasil, terpaksa Lebaran di Jakarta aja. Meski awak merantau sudah lebih dari 5 tahun, tapi biasanya lebaran selalu ada di tengah mereka.

Ya, hari ini aku rindu segalanya tetek-bengek rumah. Aku ingin berkumpul bersama orang tua, bersenda gurau dengan kawan-kawan lama, berangkat ke masjid diiringi gema takbir bareng orang-orang sekampung, dan bersalam-salaman ke segenap orang.

Ah… sepi rasanya bila mengingat kebersamaan yang selalu ada di setiap lebaran. Dua malam awak bengong di depan jendela selepas tadarus, nyalain YM tanpa chatting karena yang OL sepi.  Dua malam ini seolah – olah “dunia” berkompromi agar awak merasa sepi dalam kerinduan pada suasana.

Rindu pada nuansa kebersamaan dan Idul Fitri di tengah keluarga. Rindu pada ketupat, rendang, dan kue khas Lebaran buatan Ibu. Dan rindu pada perasaan haru ketika sungkem di pangkuan Ayah-Ibu..

Is Your Life Story Worth Reading?


Everyone has their own life story. Whether having the idea of being in love, having the perfect job, etc, but , and when it’s all been said and done, will yours be worth remembering?

Can this be a seminal moment of your life? Going forward, can you look back on what you are doing now and say “that’s when things really started to get going?” Well, on my early adulthood years, I’ve always have those question on my mind: “is my life story interesting? Something I’d read or watch? What does my story say about my life?” And, these kind of question are always give me some moments to think about things that I want to do, U see…

Better Than Fiction

In the movie “Stranger than Fiction,” Harold Crick, played by Will Farrell, discovers he is a character in a novel being written by a famous author. He begins to hear her narration in his head, and comes to realize his life is being told as a story.

In reality all of our lives are stories. Some people are part of the story, others aren’t. But it’s always our story, the narrative of our life. I used to pretend that my life is a book or movie. I’ve even imagined a narrator telling my story as I go about day by day.

What it all comes down to is this. Is the story worth reading? Not to anyone else necessarily, but is your story something you’d like to read? I just hope so..

Section Two – The Next Chapters

Every moment of our life is a turning point. Some are more memorable than others, but every decision we make influences how the next chapter of our story will read. No matter what’s happened in our story so far, the next section, and the chapters it contains, can be different. They can be better.

There comes a point where I have to look at what’s been written and decide if I want to continue with the story as it’s shaped up so far. Kind of like my own personal “Choose Your Own Adventure” book. As I contemplate becoming a real engineer, or explore taking my knowledge to the next level, look back on how my story has come together. See what have been the central moments, the ones I have consciously written, and those that seemed to “just happen to me.”

And, my big question for now, Where will this chapters in my story take me? Let’s keep moving forward…

It Goes On..


“In three words, I can sum up everything that I’ve learned about life: it goes on…” – Robert Frost

Most people change kind of slowly. They’re who they are, and then after a while, they’re someone else. But some people know the exact moment where their lives changed. It’s something they’ve gone through that makes everything they look at from that moment on seem very different from how it had always been.

You see, in this time, on my early adulthood, somehow, I felt that I need a mentor, who will help me to make sense of the world I am living in. But, after what I’ve been going through, I realized about the so called “Life is Teacher for each people”. I just think that all moments in my life is not coincidences and that every lesson that shown, is meant for me personally.

Usually, I like to think that I have some control over the events in my life. But then something happens to remind me that the world runs by its own rules, and that I’m just along for the ride. Well, I guess Life is one lessons after another. Some lessons are hard to learn, others are easy. But I really have no choice. I just need to view my life as a personal teacher, because It’s wasting time to spend the rest of days on cursing all the mistakes, errors or pains.

If I see myself a few years ago, I can see that everything is already different from how it had been. But, I think, I didn’t change, I just become who I really meant to be, through all life moments & its lessons..

Being Good Enough..??

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A few days ago, my college friends celebrated the graduation. (Chat from yahoo messenger) The first question he asked to me, was the same “old” question for young professional (fresh graduate), “Am I really good enough for a real job”..?? Yep, almost the same question while I was fresh graduate too.

You see, ever since we were young, we’ve been taught that we aren’t good enough. Teachers have highlighted our mistakes with red pens and parents have wished we would’ve been better. It’s easy to assume that you don’t have any “value”, but you know what, you do, everybody do. Since I’m sure that every person have always something to offer.

Basically, the feelings of “not being good enough” are just because We tend to judge ourselves against another standard. This standard is often a comparison between what we ‘know’ about ourselves and what we ‘believe’ about the other. We end up seeing ‘the yuck’ of our own lives, but fail to see it in the other.

Other caused are the need of being perfect to become Good Enough” for the job, as We’ve imagined (I’ve been there). But, the thing is, We are not perfect. I am not perfect. Bill Gates is not perfect. Stephen King is not perfect. Your favorite authors are not perfect. Perfection is an idea, but not reality.

Just throw-up those mind-set and you’ll see your talent & what makes you an unique candidate for the job.

Please note that perfection is boring. No one wants to read about a perfect character, with a perfect life, and perfect job, and perfect family. The same goes for real life, right? 🙂

“That” Subject..

 

When you’ve already grown-up,
have graduated from college & have a stable job,
then, things such as love, serious relationship, and (even) marriage,
slowly starting to appear on the surface that hard to be ignored..


You know, When you’re single, and your friends or people that closed on your life start to get married, every wedding invitation presents a strange moment of self-evaluation. What it’s really asking is, “Where do you see yourself..??” The thing is, at this age, love is not supposed for just another “trial & error”, it just has to be really, really “right”, I mean, “the one”. And, to get that, it’s hard, honestly.. 🙂

Well, I know relationships aren’t easy, they’re “hard work”. It’s about compromise, growing together, and other crap list continued. But if it’s the right person, then it’s gonna be just easy. Looking at her and knowing she’s all I really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world. Because, the best relationships are the ones that just come naturally. Have natural fun, easy, and simple, or uncomplicated. And, if it’s not like that, then it’s just not meant to be..

Because, if it’s too complicated, maybe it means that we don’t connect on fundamental levels. Then, of course there will be “break-up” & “drama” phase. And funny thing about break-up, there is no good way. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to do the right thing for break-up, there is always one side that have to face & deal with “humiliation”..

The point is, I’ve felt enough for “trial & error” phase. Because, I think I don’t want to just wasting my time, my energy, and of course my heart, to a girl that literally will not meant to be with me. What is the point of climbing a ladder if it’s leaning against “the wrong wall”, right..??

I know that odds are, She’s not gonna magically walk through that door, but this seems as nice a spot as any to just, sit and wait for a while, preparing myself on any side. Right now, I don’t know who she is, or, where or when We will meet. But, I think for the most part in my life, ultimately, I will only see what I want to see, when I’m ready to see it. And that’s all I’m gonna say to this very own subject… 🙂