The New Chapter of Moving Forward


It’s funny, sometimes I walk into a place I’ve never been before,
but I get the feeling that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
So, never underestimate the power of destiny.
Because when I least expect it, suddenly my whole life change 180 degree..


Currently, I’m working for my new job, new place, new “direction”, and with a new people. A job that in my believe is the job that all engineer dream about. A job that provide me an opportunity to have a real career path, to grow, to learn, and also going overseas. Working in one of the biggest company in the world for Oil & Gas industry..

When you’re pushing adulthood, however, It’s easy to say you’re going to do something. It’s easy to be eager with words. Actions, actually, are much harder. You see, It’s almost 1,5 years of my graduation day from college, and living in a real world, working in the dynamism of Project. But, after involved on that job for almost 1,5 years, I can understand that I can’t spent my whole life living like that.

You see, of course there is a risk, still. I know, it’s really a big step that I’ve made for my career. This year will probably be one of my hardest,”and I know, once I’ve tasted this, I can’t turn back”, especially back to Project. There’s this thing about risks though, It’s easy to sign up, but it’s the follow-through that decides your character. So, I would like to focus for an opportunity of a lifetime like this, to pass the challenge of transitioning.

Because, really, given the opportunity to completely change your whole life, what you’re gonna do..?? That night, my father said to me, “Being normal gets you a middle-class life. It’s fifth place, and you know you want to be in first. All successful people then are understandably eccentric. They take risks that normal people wouldn’t.”

And, that’s the moment, see. The moment where I face all my fears in doubting myself  “can I answer the challenge or not”, something like that. Or the moment to decide whether I’m going to smile or freak-out, move forward or turn back.

And in case you were wondering… I jumped..!!! With a smile on my face.. All I hope, taking this chance means, I’ve arrived in my “destination”. Welcome to a new world, Met.. 🙂

The Changes..

Is every moment of our lives built into us before we’re born?
If it is, does that make us less responsible for the things we do?
Or is the responsibility built in too?

~Taken

I don’t know..
As I grow up, lots of things change.
More responsibilities, more issues to deal with.
There are no excuses for mistakes I make,
I’m responsible for my decisions, and it influence not just my life.
That makes things more complicated and less enjoyable..

I laugh less, I enjoy less, I forget to call people I care about.
Sometimes, I pretend to be too busy.
It is tougher to believe. Tougher to dream.
It is tougher to be just happy. Especially when I want more from life..

You see, sometimes, The time felt changing too.
24 hours are not enough anymore.
I have to run somewhere.
To fix this, to clear that, to “fight”, to argue,
to prove myself right, to learn new stuff,
to earn more money, to work more.
Deprived of the privilege to actually enjoy life..

I have a luggage of sad memories, happy memories too,
broken promises, lost friendships, and missed opportunities.
I know what it is like to believe, to hope, to dream.
But I also know how it feels when every promise,
every feeling, every dream would break into pieces.

I don’t know..
I just…forget what it means to be real.
To be human, to be myself.
And, I just felt that I’m not the same anymore..

A Reflection of Hope & Effort

Well, currently I’m in a really daring adventure month. Going from one opportunity to another opportunity and from one city to another city. Although I’m enjoying the challenge to experience “selling” my resume to someone else, but now, it strike my mind. Honestly, I just have a feeling that “selling” myself is kind of tough, quite tricky, and also can be brutal.

You know, still I’m a normal guy. That’s why it got me thinking. Between the rejections, the unanswered phone calls or unreturned emails, it’s making me to take it personally, kind of felt giving up altogether, and even worse, assume that they are “right” and I am “wrong” when my efforts go unrewarded.

Now, particularly in the face of rejection, I’m slightly starting to lose faith, and too many “no” sends me running for the bubble bath, where I sit and let the doubt creep in. “Maybe I’m in the wrong business, “Maybe I’m going for a job that’s just way too competitive,” or ” Maybe I’m a total idiot for thinking this would ever work out at all,” I wonder.

But, complaining will just make things worse, right..??

Call me the crazy optimist, but I’d like to think that most of us won’t let a few measly rejections get in the way of pursuing an opportunity that really matters to us, and that there really is room at the top for more than one. If you’re in agreement, then we’ve got to believe in ourselves like never before, rather than feel like a victim of circumstances.

You’ve heard it before, but allow me to repeat this obvious truth: “If I don’t believe in myself, then who will..??” So, now is really not the good time for give up..

I’m writing this article just to renew my confidence, you know..
As a reflection about what I’m going through right now, about my Hope & Effort..
After all, one more “no” is closer to a “yes”, I hope… 🙂

It’s Called, Dreams

This week, I’m kind of back to “square one” in order to pursuit what I want. And on this week, I can feel that life is an amazing thing. Why? Well, try to round the Moon clockwise, and whether it is 1950, 2010 or the year 3009, pretty much life is same. Yes, technology changes, lifestyles & types of jobs may change, but overall life is same.

It’s all about to make a so called “dreams” come true.

In My Humble Opinion, some people see life as a big test, others see life as something to experience, enjoy and learn from. Whatever you view life as, I’m sure that there is one aspect that keeps you alive, and that is your dreams.

You see, so many people fail in life because they are happily sailing along, thinking they are headed somewhere, but the road of life has a bend in the road. Instead of adjusting, people smack bang into the wall. From there they get off the high way, and float. Then, they tend to agree with parents that life is hard, and there is no point to anything!

I’ve met some people that give up trying. This is unfortunate but it happens in many cases. After all that is life, and if you are to grow in life, you have to have a bit of stress! As the saying goes, if it doesn’t “kill” you, it can only make you stronger!

A dream is essential, and without it, people perish. Look around and you will see this true. I have found that a lot of people dream, they may even try. But what happens? They try and they meet failure on first attempt, so they stop trying. Another tries a bit more, and failure after failure, they are knocked out of the game.

In my personal story, I’ve tried so hard to make all my dreams come true. Going from one opportunity to another opportunity. And honestly, I’ve experienced the fail, a lot.

But, I do believe,
that my life is defined by its opportunities, even the ones I miss
..

And, I won’t give up, because
I want to prove to myself,
that I can learn how to dance through life on difficult times..

The Story is Not Over Yet..

.

What is the purpose of Life..?? I don’t know the answer for that honestly.
What is the purpose of  MY LIFE.??
Well this is an entirely different query altogether,
and this question does have an answer.
But, I don’t want to make you boring with my life purpose story.
Instead, I just want to tell you about the perspective..

I guess, the one size fits all reason for me, being here is,
to learn, to grow in my understanding of myself – .

The lessons I live through are sometimes quite challenging.
I know it’s probably not a revelation that growing-up does have its pains.
But I do understand that there is never any reason for me to be discouraged.
Today’s trials are destined to be tomorrow’s enlightenments.
Difficult situations arise in my experience
to either make me aware of my strengths,
or to inspire me to walk in a new direction…

Well now,
I find myself feeling overwhelmed by the daunting circumstances in my life.
But, this is the time to stop, take a breath, step back within myself
and just remember that this story I’m living in,
in this moment is far from over yet.
There is indeed much more to come, many more moments to experience.
What I’m going through now is only one scene of a much bigger storyline.
And there will be more to see if I just keep moving. Move through it…

Life’s little stings,
which are meant to motivate my spiritual growth,
don’t usually hurt as bad as we ultimately make it hurt for ourselves
by refusing to let go of the thing that is stinging us.
The pain I’ve suffered will move when I move, when I stop holding onto it.
When I resolve to go forward and actually see how the story I’m living evolves from the mess it may seem to be now…

So, I don’t want to hit the pause during this time,
because I want to watch the rest of the story of my life unfold.
Hope feeds on motion.
So keep it moving, because The story is not over yet

Grown-Up: Train that Never Stop


What’s my age again? I’m 23 years old.. And somehow I think, so much of my life is wasted because I hate the idea of now and I love the idea of tomorrow. But when tomorrow comes and I still haven’t accomplished anything, I feel regret, depression, and ever so unfulfilled. Until, I realize about something that there is no turning back.

I mean, there comes a point in our life when We realize there is no turning back, right..?? We have all had that moment. The interesting thing is that some people are more equipped for this moment than others. Some people shut down and start to compensate in negative ways. Others embrace it and look forward to the future. Some people do both.

But, I guess, that’s why it’s called : Grow-Up.. And, this moment is pivotal because it is the start of my adulthood. As far as I’m concerned, how I deal with this moment has a lot to do with whether I ever really grow up at all – and, trust me, a lot of people at my age don’t..

I am not professing to have all the answers. Because honestly, I still struggle all the time to be used to with the idea for being like today, you know. Such as:

  • Financially independent – “make” money by my own
  • Emotionally independent
  • I’ve started on my career path & I don’t know where it end-up
  • I deserve something, but does not mean I will exactly get it
  • Figure out everything by myself
  • Admitted GENTLY when I failed, it means simply I wasn’t qualified enough
  • Make decisions, and it has to be really, really, really right

So, a few days ago, someone that I really respect told me, “Well, you have to grow up now“.. Honestly, those words have hit me so hard. No one starts at the finish line. And, the now is a foundation for it. Everyone has done something worthy, struggle, fail, and achieve,  and so do I. In simple sentence, “THINGS CHANGE”..

Yeah, “Things change, and It won’t stop”. Those words are the quintessence of growing up. These words summarize everything. Things change and when I fail to grasp that truth, I’ll suffer. Nothing lasts and nothing stays the same. My “kids day” is gone, my college day has long disappear, and all I have is NOW and, I hope, the future. Cause now I see, I’ll never stop this train..

Future-Worried Slaps Me

Have you ever had one of those days,
where nothing at all that monumental happens,
but by the end of it,
You have no idea of who you are anymore,
or what the hell you’re doing with your life?


I think, in career terms, that’s what happened for me right now.
I know, as I grown-up, there is always a new areas of experience,
where I have no guidelines, handle things badly, overreact, & get it wrong.

And again, I have to face it & just deal with it..

You see, when you reach at some stages of age on life,
you might be surprised to discover you still don’t have life quite figured out..
Especially, when your best plans are not working as you liked..
Then, it’s leaning to a self-doubt, future-worried, and fear.
All negativity starting to flash on mind, & self-confidence slightly fade away.

Because, honestly,
When everything in our life is right on track,
it’s easy to believe that things happen for a reason, it’s easy to have faith,
and also easy to give an advice or motivate others.
But when things start to go wrong, then it’s very hard to hold on to that faith.
It’s hard not to wonder what reasons these things happen for..

At the first place, the whole story looks so predictable. Study hard, go to college, graduate, then find a secure job, planning pension, meet a woman, and built a family. But in reality, even to get all of those predictable story arc, are not as simple as it sounds.

The real problem starts now, near around my mid-20’s, when I get thrown out into the world to do “whatever I want to” and realize that actually, the majority of the time is just been spent for surviving and helping others to survive. Kind of a bummer, especially when I spend the majority of my early 20’s of days looking forward to the freedom of being an adult to chase all my goals. This realization is enough to cripple me..

I know, the career path that I’ve chosen since a year ago will make me to deal a lot with uncertainty. Back to that time, I believed I can handle the challenge, and just being happy & excited to take it step by step. But, what I didn’t know is that dealing with uncertainty itself  is very stressful, especially when I experienced with my own-head to miss the best opportunity. And, I just can’t help myself to clear some air from all these future-worried.

Yeah, surely, now is the kind of time in my life at “the down” phase,
and, maybe this is exactly the times to behave & learn a lot as an adult..
To measure myself at least once with nothing to help me,
except my hands and my own head..
Well, for now, all I can think about, is to take “a leap of faith” route..

The Happiness

It’s pretty safe to say that at the end of the day, there are really only one or two things that truly matter. I don’t know, for you, maybe it’s making money with an amazing career, finding fame or prestige, have a stable relationship, etc. Wouldn’t you agree that an ultimate intention in life is to live well and be happy?

You know, the average person is living in a reality that is a reflection of the ideas and images in the world around them, rather than a reflection of what’s in their own mind.. That’s why, they don’t feel happy..Well, I’ve been lucky enough to meet some truly happy people over this few years, and I’ve learned lot from them.


They Know What Really Matters
It’s so easy to become swept up in a busy life, isn’t it? People jump hurdles just to convince themselves that it’s time to work on those all important and possibly life – changing goals, then they wake up one day and realize 10 years has passed. The truth is, that it’s hard enough to commit to doing what’s really important even if you know what ‘it’ is. But, what all I can see, they just know what really matters that related with things that actually they needed. In simple sentences, they know their priority, and just focussed on it.


They Don’t Blame Others
People don’t care about you, mostly. This isn’t because people are mean or hurtful, but simply because they are mostly focused on themselves. People who appear to be mean or hurtful don’t usually do it intentionally. There are exceptions to this, but generally the hurt you feel is a side-effect, not the principle cause. Then I understand, it’s just wasting time and energy to blame others for what I felt.


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Good Things I’ve Learned About Criticism

You know, from what I can understand, Criticism means a judgment stating that something isn’t as good as it could be, and may haunt us and leave us feeling humiliated, degraded, hollow, and then we launch counterattack..

I don’t believe anyone is completely immune to being hurt by criticism, unless they’re void of emotion, but it does get easier over time. And, Honestly, I’d rather hear what I’m doing wrong than what I’m doing right. I can’t correct anything unless I know what I may be doing wrong, especially at this young age..

So, I would like to tell you some good things I’ve learned about criticism..


  • Brings Me Back “Down to Earth”
    Too much praise will stilt your personal growth and fuel your ego until you feel like whatever you say or do is irreproachable. Loving criticism (and not simply blocking it out completely) keeps me level-headed and be more human. I am not perfect. I will make mistakes and at times I deserve criticism. And, I’m really be grateful that people are willing to take their time to disagree with me..

    Prepares Me More
    Life is a series of criticism. Wait. No. That doesn’t sound like me. Life kicks butt, but I do have to accept, that no matter what I do, I’ll be wrong according to someone else, and that means I’ll be criticised. And if I’m not criticised, then I’m not trying hard enough to be amazing. Each critique I face is a stepping stone towards a thicker skin.

    Reconsider to Change
    What I’ve noticed, Most criticism will be from trolls – people simply trying to make me feel bad, maybe. But, there is an occasion, I will be met with logical arguments and genuine discussion. I can identify these moments because I’ll feel defensive. That defensiveness, actually, is a sign that there is a lack of congruence in what I was holding. Then, it makes me think, that something’s not right and I need to reconsider for a change about what I’m doing, saying or thinking..

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Harsh Truths of My Real Life

tafakur

They say life is what we make of it. But for me, I don’t know.. For some reason, it can be true, but mostly it’s not that simple…

There is no doubt that life has its ups and downs. However, how we deal with them can sometimes make all the difference. Yeah, I want to share life harsh truths that I could learn from my own life..

     

  1. Friends Just Come and Go
    When I was in high school at my hometown, sometimes I imagined spending most of my life with the same people. Then when I realized I had to move to college, that all changed. Once again, I made some close college friends but left them all behind when I moved when I’ve got the job.
  2.  

    Friends will always come and go in my life; even though somehow I would have time to meet them again, but just for reunion, right..??? And now, all my friends are around the country and not exactly in meeting distance. It’s the thing that have to accept, many of the friends I spend time with now, might not be around in the next few years.

    What I’ve Learned: There are an abundance of amazing people out there for you to meet and build relationships with. If you don’t have many friends, don’t stress, there are literally billions of friendship possibilities.

  3. I Won’t Always Get Exactly For What I Want
    I know exactly all my dreams. I used to be able to get it, you know. But, just not exactly like what I’ve imagined. There were always twist and turn that made little bit different from what I’ve expected. Yeah, I mean, in all areas of my life. My job, habit, friends, mentor/supervisor/boss, or other people that I’ve ever met, and also items that I really want to have.
  4. Yeah, maybe You won’t always get what you want in life: people are going to be late, people will let you down, items you want won’t always be available, etc.

    What I’ve Learned: Don’t look for happiness in material possessions and if things don’t go your way, learn to accept them. Life’s too short to stay miserable.

  5. Many People Will Like You, but Many Will Not
    Yeah, I know and I can see it. Whether you are a celebrity, a charity worker or just a normal guy, there are going to be people that love you and like or admire what you do, but there’s also going to be plenty people that don’t like you. There are many possible reasons such as jealousy, similarities to them, or just not being someone’s ‘type’.
  6. What I’ve Learned: Not everyone is always going to like you, and that’s fine. If people want to spend time talking about you then that is their problem. You are perfect as you are. You shouldn’t need everyone to like you to have some form of self-esteem.

  7. Nobody Can Transform Your Life Like You Can
    Wouldn’t it be lovely if we didn’t have to go up on stage, but we could just read a paragraph of a blog post and become a perfect public speaker? Or, wouldn’t it be nice if our friends could do daring things, and we would benefit from them as well?
  8. The support and help of others can only take you so far, you’re going to have to do your own thing to make big changes in your life situation.

    What I’ve Learned: Do things for yourself and learn to stand on your own two feet. People you rely on won’t be around forever, and you don’t want to have to use others as a crutch to get anywhere in life.

  9. Experienced The Fail
    Before I got my current job, I’ve submitted so many application to lots of company. All of them are oil & gas related. I’ve ever failed to pass test, failed on interview process, and ever failed on medical check-up too. But, one thing for sure, I know what I want, so I just keep trying and trying, learned to understand the cause (why couldn’t I pass interview, etc), even my friends disapproved or even laughed me about it.
  10. As the saying goes – “Only those who are asleep make no mistakes”, right..???

    What I’ve Learned: You can learn a lot from others, but it is your own failures that are going to teach you the most valuable lessons in life. Learn from your failures, embrace them, and use them to drive you on to success.

  11. Rain Will Sometimes Cancel Play
    On some occasions when you have your shorts on and you’re ready for the beach, it’s going to rain. Or, when you get to that first hole and you’re ready to tee off – the clouds will open. Things aren’t always going to go how you would like them to.
  12. What I’ve Learned: Don’t stress about the things that you can’t control. Learn to live with things that happen. Because I know, I can’t change the past, but I can change how that I react to things.

  13. There May Be No Tomorrow
    At least, not for you anyway. We never know what is around the corner, a car crash, a heart attack; heck…even the end of the world is possible. Let’s face it, although we would all like to live till we are 70 years old, that’s certainly not always the case. There will be one day that is our last.
  14. What I’ve Learned: Make the most of each day. Make sure the people you care about actually know it, don’t worry about little matters, just make sure you spend time doing the things you love.

  15. Someone Else Will Always Have More
    Whether it is money, partners, friends or even blog subscribers, there will always be areas where other people have more than you. That isn’t to say you can’t become abundant in whatever you want (i.e. someone always had more money than Warren Buffett until 2008 when he was noted to be the richest man in the world).
  16. The wanting of more actually holds a very important lesson…

    What I’ve Learned: Just because someone has ‘more’, that doesn’t mean they are happy. Read the biography of any celebrity and they will tell you they enjoy their process of earning money, rather than what money can do to make them happy. In other words, focus on what you love, not what the thing you love can get you.