Dear My Future Wife..

Dear my future wife,

I feel like everything in my life has led me to you.
My choices, my heartbreaks, my regrets. Everything.
And when we’re together, my past seems worth it.
Because if I had done one thing differently,
I might have never met you…

It’s never been easy for me,
to find words that go along with your “rhyme”,
But this time there’s actually something on my mind,
So please forgive these brief awkward lines,
I just want to write something honest, for you…

My dear,
I want you to know and understand, that….
If you are going to fall in love with me,
It’s only fair that you know to who that you are falling in love with…

You are falling in love with my insecurities,
my constant worries of failure,
my scared feeling to be just ordinary,
my narcissism, my self-confidence, and my idiot self-ego,
which embarrassing sometimes…

You are falling in love with my immaturity,
And my constant need to feel to be appreciated,
and also my need to feel independent…

You are falling in love with my overactive reaction when watching sports game,
my constant obsession for internet,
my stupid blog and stupid writing that no one reads about…

You are falling in love with my unrealistic hopes and dreams,
which you know that I’ll never given-up,
because the fact that I seriously believe they could come true,
And my obsession with trying to figure out how to success…

You are falling in love with how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart,
enthusiast to watch romance movie & hearing love song,
my fiction fantasies of true love, despite my masculinist views…

You fall in love with my my illogical thought process,
And my tendency to act like a smart & wise guy…

If you fall in love with me,
You fall in love with all my imperfections,
And my perception that nobody could ever love me.
You fall in love with the history that has caused me to think this way…

But,
You are also falling in love with the way my eyes looking at you,
The way I blush when people ask me about you,
And the way I express ”I love you” without saying a word,
but with my actions that show how much I care about you.
And the way I respect you, even if we’re fighting or having tense argument…

You’re falling in love with the occasionally thought-provoking things I say,
the silly things I do in an attempt to see you smile,
and my responsible way on taking the weight of my choices & feelings for you…

You’re falling in love with the way I can let you to be yourself when you’re with me,
the way that I can always forgive you despite any mistakes,
the way that I will support you in pursuing your dreams,
the way that I’m comfortable that you can spend time away from me,
and living your own life hang-out with your fiends & co-workers,
the way that I don’t throw away your independence just because you’re with me…

But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me,
Despite sometimes, I’m thinking that maybe I couldn’t make you happy…

And even though I keep fumbling for the right words,
And I know that maybe something I’m not good at,
All I really wanted to say was thank you…

Thank you for giving me the chance to trust you, and able to open-up to you,
and not have to worry that I’m gonna regret it later…

Thank you for giving me the freedom to tell you how I feel,
without feeling scared of your reaction…

And most importantly,
thank you for accepting me and not trying to change me.
Thank you for loving me, despite all of my flaws & weaknesses.
Thank you for loving me, for who I am, and not what you want me to be…

And,
When I look towards our future, you are always pictured there,
where I’ll get to see your smile everyday for the rest of my life,
And if l get a chance to grow old with you,
that sounds like a pretty good deal to me…

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