Ketika DIA bertanya..

“Fabiayyi aalaaa i rabbikuma tukadzdzibaan”..

Sudah tiga malam berturut-turut, Mesjid di sebelah rumah selalu memutar ayat yang sama saat menjelang Subuh.. Perlahan, mengiringi datangnya fajar. Dan, ketika mendengarnya sekarang, Ayat dalam surat Ar-Rahman tsb terasa sangat “meyesakkan”.. Dan, itu membuatku berpikir. Apakah Engkau sedang “bertanya” padaku, Ya Rabb..??

Ku ambil Wudhu’, lalu melangkah tenang dalam buaian Tahajjud, dan merenung panjang. Dingin terasa perlahan menelusup dalam simpul saraf yang menegang menantang perjalanan hidup..  Perjalanan hidup..  Perjalanan yang terasa panjang dan melelahkan. Tak terasa 23 tahun terlewati. Kini saya di sini merasa belum menjadi siapa-siapa.

Langkah takdir membawaku kesini. Keluar untuk mencari bekal ilmu dengan harapan besar untuk penghidupan yang lebih baik secara materi. Kemudahan demi kemudahan membuaikan perjalananku. Panggilan-Nya tidak lagi merengkuh hati untuk segera menghadap, Detik detik malam pun berlalu dalam hening tanpa sujud yang menemaninya. Semuanya berjalan begitu saja, dan hampa.

“Fabiayyi aalaaa i rabbikuma tukadzdzibaan”

Seperti roda pedati, perjalanan hidup adakalanya di atas, ada kalanya ia terjungkir ke bawah bersama kerikil dan lumpur. Lantas apakah aku harus menyalahkan Allah akan kondisiku yang sedang ada di bawah? Mengapa kesulitan ini semakin terasa begitu menghimpit, Ya Rabb? Apa sesungguhnya yang sedang Kau tunjukkan padaku?

Ketika Allah bertanya, “Fabiayyi aalaaa i rabbikuma tukadzdzibaan”.. “Nikmat Tuhan kamu yang manakah yang kamu dustakan?”, aku cuma bisa termenung merenungi jawabannya.. Ya Allah, Astaghfirullah…

Masih bersimpuh di atas sajadah, saya merasakan ada nikmat. Nikmat yang mungkin sudah terlupakan. Nikmat syukur, karena Dia masih memberiku kesempatan untuk ditanya..

Grown-Up: Train that Never Stop


What’s my age again? I’m 23 years old.. And somehow I think, so much of my life is wasted because I hate the idea of now and I love the idea of tomorrow. But when tomorrow comes and I still haven’t accomplished anything, I feel regret, depression, and ever so unfulfilled. Until, I realize about something that there is no turning back.

I mean, there comes a point in our life when We realize there is no turning back, right..?? We have all had that moment. The interesting thing is that some people are more equipped for this moment than others. Some people shut down and start to compensate in negative ways. Others embrace it and look forward to the future. Some people do both.

But, I guess, that’s why it’s called : Grow-Up.. And, this moment is pivotal because it is the start of my adulthood. As far as I’m concerned, how I deal with this moment has a lot to do with whether I ever really grow up at all – and, trust me, a lot of people at my age don’t..

I am not professing to have all the answers. Because honestly, I still struggle all the time to be used to with the idea for being like today, you know. Such as:

  • Financially independent – “make” money by my own
  • Emotionally independent
  • I’ve started on my career path & I don’t know where it end-up
  • I deserve something, but does not mean I will exactly get it
  • Figure out everything by myself
  • Admitted GENTLY when I failed, it means simply I wasn’t qualified enough
  • Make decisions, and it has to be really, really, really right

So, a few days ago, someone that I really respect told me, “Well, you have to grow up now“.. Honestly, those words have hit me so hard. No one starts at the finish line. And, the now is a foundation for it. Everyone has done something worthy, struggle, fail, and achieve,  and so do I. In simple sentence, “THINGS CHANGE”..

Yeah, “Things change, and It won’t stop”. Those words are the quintessence of growing up. These words summarize everything. Things change and when I fail to grasp that truth, I’ll suffer. Nothing lasts and nothing stays the same. My “kids day” is gone, my college day has long disappear, and all I have is NOW and, I hope, the future. Cause now I see, I’ll never stop this train..

Future-Worried Slaps Me

Have you ever had one of those days,
where nothing at all that monumental happens,
but by the end of it,
You have no idea of who you are anymore,
or what the hell you’re doing with your life?


I think, in career terms, that’s what happened for me right now.
I know, as I grown-up, there is always a new areas of experience,
where I have no guidelines, handle things badly, overreact, & get it wrong.

And again, I have to face it & just deal with it..

You see, when you reach at some stages of age on life,
you might be surprised to discover you still don’t have life quite figured out..
Especially, when your best plans are not working as you liked..
Then, it’s leaning to a self-doubt, future-worried, and fear.
All negativity starting to flash on mind, & self-confidence slightly fade away.

Because, honestly,
When everything in our life is right on track,
it’s easy to believe that things happen for a reason, it’s easy to have faith,
and also easy to give an advice or motivate others.
But when things start to go wrong, then it’s very hard to hold on to that faith.
It’s hard not to wonder what reasons these things happen for..

At the first place, the whole story looks so predictable. Study hard, go to college, graduate, then find a secure job, planning pension, meet a woman, and built a family. But in reality, even to get all of those predictable story arc, are not as simple as it sounds.

The real problem starts now, near around my mid-20’s, when I get thrown out into the world to do “whatever I want to” and realize that actually, the majority of the time is just been spent for surviving and helping others to survive. Kind of a bummer, especially when I spend the majority of my early 20’s of days looking forward to the freedom of being an adult to chase all my goals. This realization is enough to cripple me..

I know, the career path that I’ve chosen since a year ago will make me to deal a lot with uncertainty. Back to that time, I believed I can handle the challenge, and just being happy & excited to take it step by step. But, what I didn’t know is that dealing with uncertainty itself  is very stressful, especially when I experienced with my own-head to miss the best opportunity. And, I just can’t help myself to clear some air from all these future-worried.

Yeah, surely, now is the kind of time in my life at “the down” phase,
and, maybe this is exactly the times to behave & learn a lot as an adult..
To measure myself at least once with nothing to help me,
except my hands and my own head..
Well, for now, all I can think about, is to take “a leap of faith” route..

The Happiness

It’s pretty safe to say that at the end of the day, there are really only one or two things that truly matter. I don’t know, for you, maybe it’s making money with an amazing career, finding fame or prestige, have a stable relationship, etc. Wouldn’t you agree that an ultimate intention in life is to live well and be happy?

You know, the average person is living in a reality that is a reflection of the ideas and images in the world around them, rather than a reflection of what’s in their own mind.. That’s why, they don’t feel happy..Well, I’ve been lucky enough to meet some truly happy people over this few years, and I’ve learned lot from them.


They Know What Really Matters
It’s so easy to become swept up in a busy life, isn’t it? People jump hurdles just to convince themselves that it’s time to work on those all important and possibly life – changing goals, then they wake up one day and realize 10 years has passed. The truth is, that it’s hard enough to commit to doing what’s really important even if you know what ‘it’ is. But, what all I can see, they just know what really matters that related with things that actually they needed. In simple sentences, they know their priority, and just focussed on it.


They Don’t Blame Others
People don’t care about you, mostly. This isn’t because people are mean or hurtful, but simply because they are mostly focused on themselves. People who appear to be mean or hurtful don’t usually do it intentionally. There are exceptions to this, but generally the hurt you feel is a side-effect, not the principle cause. Then I understand, it’s just wasting time and energy to blame others for what I felt.


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The Fray – “Never Say Never”

The Fray - Never Say Never

What’s the key to The Fray’s success? Songs you can relate to. And, The Fray return with the second single “Never Say Never”. I’ve been enamored by the piano-ballads stylings of this song since the very first time I heard. “Never Say Never” is such a masterpiece that present on the soundtrack of the film Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen..

The song is about a direct love between two people who are “pulling apart and coming together again and again”..

And yet, The Fray described it perfectly..

I think “Never Say Never” as “a syrupy ballad” that is nothing short of astonishing. There’s falsetto towards the end and its romantic, wistful and full of understated grace. Backed by strings and a swelling rhythm section, it’s a polished and positive step forward for The Fray..

Yap, enjoy the song & video… 🙂

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Best Romantic Movie Quotes

Romantic of Love

For me, I like to watch movies for many reasons, but one is because of some great movie quotes. Once you hear something incredible in a movie, it becomes part of you and you never forget it. It’s recalled years later and makes the movie stand still in time.

So what I have done for you is complied my favorite movie quotes, and for this post is specially from romantic comedies movies, and my explanation for why they are all so wonderful.

1. Movie : “Rumor Has It”

The Quote:

I’m not going to stand here and tell you I can’t live without you, because I can…
I just don’t want to.”
– Sarah to Jeff

I feel this is one of the most raw and romantic quotes there is. Sarah is telling Jeff that she loves him so much that she doesn’t want anyone else, not then not ever. It is love in its simplest form in my opinion. Even though it was wrote into a script, it still has meaning to everyday people like you and me. Not everyone can experience that in their lifetime. But, hopefully I will, someday.. 🙂

2. Movie : “Sleepless in Seattle”

The Quote:

“It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together. And, I knew it. I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home, only to no home I’d ever known. I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car and I knew. It was like… magic..”

Again, the romance and ideals behind this touch one’s heart, awaking the desires that we want to have that “one true love” and remind us that there is hope out there for us to find that which we do desire and deserve. A one, deep, “true” love, and that neither time nor distance could keep the lovers apart.

3. Movie : “Runaway Bride”

The Quote:

“Look, I guarantee there’ll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is gonna want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you’re the only one for me…”

We all want to have that, the happily-ever-after that we feel we deserve. But the truth behind storybook romances is laid out in this quote. It gives us pause to think about how we will go through life – not only the joys, but the heartaches that will surely happen as well. And it is best kept in mind there will be hard times as we consider who we desire to spend the rest of our life with.

4. Movie : “The Prestige”

The Quote:

“I want… I want you to be honest with me. No tricks, no lies, no secrets.”

This movie quote touches my heart because this describes exactly what I want in a relationship. I want complete honesty. I don’t understand how you can love someone and not be honest with him or her, in fact I think it’s impossible..

5. Movie : “The Notebook”

The Quote:

“I am no one special, just a common man with common thoughts. I’ve led a common life, there are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect, I’ve succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived. I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul and for me… that has always been enough.”

It’s so pure and so honest, no manipulation, not even a little…!!! This is how I want to be remembered, not as a common man of course, but for who I am. I too am no one special, I am just a common man living a common life. How do you want to be remembered after you leave this life?

6. Movie : “When Harry Met Sally”

The Quote:

“I love that you get cold when it’s 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts… I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes.. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.. And it’s not because I’m lonely, and it’s not because it’s New Year’s Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible…”

When Harry finds himself needing to explain why he loves Sally, he comes out with the most honest explanation of love I’ve ever heard. The little things are what makes love stick, not the big events, not the big mannerisms, but the things that linger after those big things fade. To her, his decision maybe seems irrational, the actions of a lonely man. But, Irrationality happens sometimes in love, especially when you feel you’re in danger of losing that love. This line makes me feel all warm inside no matter how many times I’ve seen it.

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I know We don’t live in a movie; this is the real world. But, for various reasons, each of these quotes have spoken volumes to me over the years, given me pause to think as I go through my own daily routines as well as daydreams. Contemplating the depth and value of love within my life..

Good Things I’ve Learned About Criticism

You know, from what I can understand, Criticism means a judgment stating that something isn’t as good as it could be, and may haunt us and leave us feeling humiliated, degraded, hollow, and then we launch counterattack..

I don’t believe anyone is completely immune to being hurt by criticism, unless they’re void of emotion, but it does get easier over time. And, Honestly, I’d rather hear what I’m doing wrong than what I’m doing right. I can’t correct anything unless I know what I may be doing wrong, especially at this young age..

So, I would like to tell you some good things I’ve learned about criticism..


  • Brings Me Back “Down to Earth”
    Too much praise will stilt your personal growth and fuel your ego until you feel like whatever you say or do is irreproachable. Loving criticism (and not simply blocking it out completely) keeps me level-headed and be more human. I am not perfect. I will make mistakes and at times I deserve criticism. And, I’m really be grateful that people are willing to take their time to disagree with me..

    Prepares Me More
    Life is a series of criticism. Wait. No. That doesn’t sound like me. Life kicks butt, but I do have to accept, that no matter what I do, I’ll be wrong according to someone else, and that means I’ll be criticised. And if I’m not criticised, then I’m not trying hard enough to be amazing. Each critique I face is a stepping stone towards a thicker skin.

    Reconsider to Change
    What I’ve noticed, Most criticism will be from trolls – people simply trying to make me feel bad, maybe. But, there is an occasion, I will be met with logical arguments and genuine discussion. I can identify these moments because I’ll feel defensive. That defensiveness, actually, is a sign that there is a lack of congruence in what I was holding. Then, it makes me think, that something’s not right and I need to reconsider for a change about what I’m doing, saying or thinking..

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Harsh Truths of My Real Life

tafakur

They say life is what we make of it. But for me, I don’t know.. For some reason, it can be true, but mostly it’s not that simple…

There is no doubt that life has its ups and downs. However, how we deal with them can sometimes make all the difference. Yeah, I want to share life harsh truths that I could learn from my own life..

     

  1. Friends Just Come and Go
    When I was in high school at my hometown, sometimes I imagined spending most of my life with the same people. Then when I realized I had to move to college, that all changed. Once again, I made some close college friends but left them all behind when I moved when I’ve got the job.
  2.  

    Friends will always come and go in my life; even though somehow I would have time to meet them again, but just for reunion, right..??? And now, all my friends are around the country and not exactly in meeting distance. It’s the thing that have to accept, many of the friends I spend time with now, might not be around in the next few years.

    What I’ve Learned: There are an abundance of amazing people out there for you to meet and build relationships with. If you don’t have many friends, don’t stress, there are literally billions of friendship possibilities.

  3. I Won’t Always Get Exactly For What I Want
    I know exactly all my dreams. I used to be able to get it, you know. But, just not exactly like what I’ve imagined. There were always twist and turn that made little bit different from what I’ve expected. Yeah, I mean, in all areas of my life. My job, habit, friends, mentor/supervisor/boss, or other people that I’ve ever met, and also items that I really want to have.
  4. Yeah, maybe You won’t always get what you want in life: people are going to be late, people will let you down, items you want won’t always be available, etc.

    What I’ve Learned: Don’t look for happiness in material possessions and if things don’t go your way, learn to accept them. Life’s too short to stay miserable.

  5. Many People Will Like You, but Many Will Not
    Yeah, I know and I can see it. Whether you are a celebrity, a charity worker or just a normal guy, there are going to be people that love you and like or admire what you do, but there’s also going to be plenty people that don’t like you. There are many possible reasons such as jealousy, similarities to them, or just not being someone’s ‘type’.
  6. What I’ve Learned: Not everyone is always going to like you, and that’s fine. If people want to spend time talking about you then that is their problem. You are perfect as you are. You shouldn’t need everyone to like you to have some form of self-esteem.

  7. Nobody Can Transform Your Life Like You Can
    Wouldn’t it be lovely if we didn’t have to go up on stage, but we could just read a paragraph of a blog post and become a perfect public speaker? Or, wouldn’t it be nice if our friends could do daring things, and we would benefit from them as well?
  8. The support and help of others can only take you so far, you’re going to have to do your own thing to make big changes in your life situation.

    What I’ve Learned: Do things for yourself and learn to stand on your own two feet. People you rely on won’t be around forever, and you don’t want to have to use others as a crutch to get anywhere in life.

  9. Experienced The Fail
    Before I got my current job, I’ve submitted so many application to lots of company. All of them are oil & gas related. I’ve ever failed to pass test, failed on interview process, and ever failed on medical check-up too. But, one thing for sure, I know what I want, so I just keep trying and trying, learned to understand the cause (why couldn’t I pass interview, etc), even my friends disapproved or even laughed me about it.
  10. As the saying goes – “Only those who are asleep make no mistakes”, right..???

    What I’ve Learned: You can learn a lot from others, but it is your own failures that are going to teach you the most valuable lessons in life. Learn from your failures, embrace them, and use them to drive you on to success.

  11. Rain Will Sometimes Cancel Play
    On some occasions when you have your shorts on and you’re ready for the beach, it’s going to rain. Or, when you get to that first hole and you’re ready to tee off – the clouds will open. Things aren’t always going to go how you would like them to.
  12. What I’ve Learned: Don’t stress about the things that you can’t control. Learn to live with things that happen. Because I know, I can’t change the past, but I can change how that I react to things.

  13. There May Be No Tomorrow
    At least, not for you anyway. We never know what is around the corner, a car crash, a heart attack; heck…even the end of the world is possible. Let’s face it, although we would all like to live till we are 70 years old, that’s certainly not always the case. There will be one day that is our last.
  14. What I’ve Learned: Make the most of each day. Make sure the people you care about actually know it, don’t worry about little matters, just make sure you spend time doing the things you love.

  15. Someone Else Will Always Have More
    Whether it is money, partners, friends or even blog subscribers, there will always be areas where other people have more than you. That isn’t to say you can’t become abundant in whatever you want (i.e. someone always had more money than Warren Buffett until 2008 when he was noted to be the richest man in the world).
  16. The wanting of more actually holds a very important lesson…

    What I’ve Learned: Just because someone has ‘more’, that doesn’t mean they are happy. Read the biography of any celebrity and they will tell you they enjoy their process of earning money, rather than what money can do to make them happy. In other words, focus on what you love, not what the thing you love can get you.

     

CHUCK – TV Series

Chuck - TV Series

My rating : 8.0/10
Genre : Action – Comedy – Romance – Drama
Plot:
When a twenty-something computer geek inadvertently downloads critical government secrets into his brain, his former college friend turned CIA recruits him as a secret agent, all while keeping him out of evil hands.
(Computer geek by day, Government operative by night)

More Info: here….


Really it is a classic story about man who is being forced to be the man he is meant to be. Chuck has the potential to be someone that can own Software Company but years as a lowly computer store clerk have obliterated his self confidence. On the flip side, it is the story of a girl who has been running around saving the world and just wants a normal life.

I guess if you don’t have sympathy for the character you will never understand what is great about this show. It is FAR more than a bunch of spy clichés.

Very Enjoyable (if you take it for what it is)

The main character, Chuck, is a geeky, modest, conscientious and somewhat shy person who is suddenly faced with many challenges in his daily life, trying to keep together the different parts of his life at the same time. His field of expertise is fixing computers. We watch as Chuck Bartowski become an unwilling CIA agent but is completely clueless on how to behave like one.

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10 Answers You Should Know Before Job Interview

interview

With the competition keener than ever and the economy in a slump, you need to prepare for your job interview thoroughly. It’s no longer enough to offer a firm handshake to your interviewer, make eye contact, and nod pleasantly now and then. You need to prepare a dynamic application letter and resume. You need to research the company. And you need to present a confident image and develop the ability to answer tough questions on the spot.

Although no one can predict the questions your potential employer will ask, you can think about how you’d answer some of the commonly asked ones. Here are ten questions for you to consider and a few hints about how to answer them:

  1. Tell me about yourself.
    Chances are the employer doesn’t want to know how much you weighed when you were born, when you learned to tie your shoes, or how much you had to drink last night. He or she wants to know how you would fit into the company and what your relevant job experience is. You might answer by asking the interviewer what he’d like to know. Or you might talk about your education, the fact that you’re a team player, or whatever you think might be important to this particular company.
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  3. Why should we hire you?
    Even though five people may be waiting outside, you need to sound confident, calm, and capable. Explain how your experience has prepared you for the job. Emphasize the qualities you think the employer is looking for, such as your outstanding work ethic or the fact that you’re a fast learner.
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