The Self-Acceptance Part

Sometimes, things need to fall apart,
to make way for better things..
The eggs are already broken.
So, let’s make sure,
We get a pretty good omelet out of it..

(~Ted – HIMYM)

“Adulthood” isn’t a tangible thing that people can suddenly possess. There were a time, when I wake up in the morning, it felt like life was out to get me. It seems that my life has veered off its anticipated “track” while everyone else’s is charging ahead. To be honest, it create some inevitable anxiety.

I know that, entering the real world can sometimes feel like stepping into a horribly disappointing surprise party. Surprise! It’s the worst job market in decades. Surprise! It cost a quarter of your paycheck. Surprise! Your favorite artist fantasy lied—about everything. And on it goes..

While it’s easy to project our feelings of anxiety as surprised when others taking a huge step on their life, but maybe that shiny new diamond is just one part of the story. So, I’m kind of realized that there’s just something about my life that I have yet to figure out, and I think it’s a Self-Acceptance.

Since I’ve graduate from college, I lived in various city in this country. At some point, having a chance getting to know lot of people (with different ethnic backgrounds, from different cities and countries, who live at various socioeconomic levels), I begin to understand that everyone basically wants the same things. The way we pursue these desires is where things branch off, but the fundamentals are the same. I can easily notice that, people want validation, love, happiness, fulfillment and hopes for a better future.

Continue reading

Learn to Let Go The Uncontrollable

Surely there is a time when you realize that,
it is a time to let some things go..
It’s the moment you realize that all that anger,
and worry just isn’t useful..
And you start to let go of it,
and just enjoying your life…
But, it just takes a while..

Life is constantly changing. But, there comes a point in life when I just get tired of trying to fix everything. I think it’s not giving up. It’s just realizing that I don’t need certain things or certain people and “the drama” they used to bring.

I think, sometimes, what happened in our life, can be so unpredictable, out of our control, and so stressful. But, as you grow older, there are things that you just have to let go, without any complain, and without looking it back. And yes, those things are usually the uncontrollable and the unchangeable, that will remove all the burden that we used to have.

Letting go of the uncontrollable and unchangeable in life is to admit the obvious truth, that I’m not responsible to affect a change or correct a problem which is beyond my competency, power, authority or responsibility.

It is releasing over-responsibility, giving permission to myself to be free from an over-responsible sense of obligation, duty or requirement to make everything “perfect” in my life and the life of others. Somehow, It’s getting rational about what I can and cannot do, becoming realistic about what is and what is not.

Continue reading

2012 – Life Doesn’t Design Like “Engineering”

What was left when that fire was gone?
I thought it felt right but that right was wrong,
All caught up in the eye of the storm,
And trying to figure out what it’s like moving on,
So, picking up the pieces, now where to begin?
The hardest part of ending, is starting again…

(~ Linkin Park – Waiting for The End)

Its getting to be about that time of year when everyone starts to look ahead to the future, think about the plans they’ll make for the new year, and set goals around all the things they hope to accomplish. Well, I’m no different. In the end, the lessons from 2011, are meant to be the resolutions of 2012..

Yep, for all I know, 2012 is going to be the most difficult year ahead. The path ahead will not be smooth. It will be challenging, it will be rocky and I may even feel like quitting at times. I’m excited, but undoubtedly a little scared. But whatever happens, learn to accept everything what life will throw at me. I have to “Walk the walk” and (also enter) hope, and, focus on the dignity of simplicity (kesederhanaan)..

Well, my life doesn’t always look exactly like I want it to. But, I think the world doesn’t change all that much if I have more money, a different space, or a better job. The wrapping paper is different, but the gift inside stays the same.

Continue reading

Financial Freedom = Happiness

It’s not your salary that makes you rich,
it’s your spending habits..
Don’t let your fantasies speed-up your reality..
Bury your financial fantasies,
work hard, spend & invest wisely..
~ Charles A. Jaffe

Most people said, money isn’t important, or money does not buy happiness. How many times have you heard this? Lots of times, I am willing to bet!!! Many will argue that money is an object that, while making life a little easier, doesn’t or can’t buy happiness. My view is slightly different, and I think I’ve had enough “education” in this regard.

I mean, I do subscribe to the notion that money isn’t everything, but I also believe that it is a major, critical facet of life today. If we can take the need for money out of our life’s equation then we will be free to live life as it’s meant to be lived. But as long as it remains a means for survival, nobody can tell me money isn’t important or doesn’t create an immense amount of unhappiness and stress.

I mean, after pass the college and living in reality for few years, met a lot of people that having different socio-economic life, I realize that it’s not about “the money itself”, but the most important thing is the saving, or a sufficient continuous income. Because, our savings, believe it or not, affect the way we stand, the way we walk, and our self-confidence.

What I understand, the harsh truth is that, a man without savings is always running. He must take the first job offered. He sits nervously on life’s chairs because any small emergency throws him into the hands of others. Without savings, a man is often fearful of the present and the future. Being in a constant state of fear is a horrible way to live, right?

Continue reading

Long Holiday & Faraway from Everything

People come home for a lot of reasons..
They come home to remember,
They come home because of nowhere else to go,
They come home when they’re beaten,
They come home when they’re proud..
but people always come home because,
it’s the only place in the world where understand them..

Yup, It’s been a while, and so, at the end of this year, I got my long field break, finally. I know, I really need this. It’s a good time to holiday. At first, I thought it’s time for some reflection, recharge for next challenge on the next year, and honest “define” about “where I am”. Because, planning is like a map, a map itself won’t help  if we don’t know where we actually are.

Then, when I’m in a plane to Jakarta’s home, I still remember how my mind can’t stop wondering during the flight. I saw people in the executive class, and I notices that they’re cheering and laughing, they look sooo alive. And, I can’t help myself but thinking, how they can be just like that. Whaaw, they all looked so damn happy to me. God, why couldn’t I look like that?

I think, most of us will agree with me, that we all want to wake up excited to go to work, spend our days accomplishing goals we’re proud of, and come home feeling pleasantly fulfilled. Oh, and somewhere in there, we’d like a paycheck that provides us with a comfortable lifestyle and may one day put our kids through college. That’s the dream of an ideal life, anyway.

On the one hand, I want life to be full of interesting, challenging missions that force me to learn, adapt and improve. On the other hand, I want a stable routine which ensures me don’t lose what I’ve gained.

Continue reading

The Art of Challenge

It’s not what you do, it’s why you do it..
It’s not what you see, it’s how you look at it..
It’s not how your life is, it’s how you live it..
Because, just like everything else in life,
with the right attitude, everything will just be easy..

As far as I understand so far, Life is pretty much a big wheel of wants. As we grow older, spinning that wheel will take us on many different challenges. Part of that journey involves an element called “Chance”. But, the truth is, we don’t know what chances or opportunity we’ll encounter during our life. Suffice to say, the real world is a lot more ambiguous. It can be overwhelming, stressful and downright daunting.

And that is the thing that I’m facing right now. You see, since last month, I’ve been handed a new opportunity on my job, which made me not only dealing with technical side, but also to manage, control, and guide the team who execute the task. I know, this is the start of a very independent period for me, one of big chance for myself to grow professionally. This time there’s a new element called big responsibility that has been added to the game.

And, with this chance, it comes the challenge, where I’ve been forced to deal on my edge of incompetence, get out of my comfort zone, scaling my frustrations, tolerate the uncertainty, filter something grey, control my emotions, persuade/influence people without being “bossy”, arguing in a good & respectable manner, learning to prioritize, divide my attention but keep focused on detailed, and surely learning to put my ego at the right time & the right condition.

Continue reading

Self Deception on Career

Maybe it’s our behavior,
That we bend the facts to fit our self-image,
perpetuating a view of ourselves,
that is often more positive than accurate..”
(~Sam Sommers)

You see, when it come to career, I’ve always interested about “attitude” & behavior, just trying to understand my career more. And, this is another honest reality-based post, taken from various resource. I’ve noticed that various people doing those “self-deception” about their career. In fact, those “self-deception” can be used to make ourselves feel better, but sometimes it can cause problems.

Accompanied by denial, rationalization is used to justify things we do that we know are wrong. To sum it up, it is the way we allow ourselves to avoid facts. But, I think, rationalized are made so ourselves can feel better about a choice or decision at work, even deep down, we knew it was questionable.

The Better-Than-Average Effect
Have you ever involved on “Performance Appraisal” process at your company? If you ever done it, then you’ll notice that most people usually think they’re better or more than average, or having more than satisfied performace, etc. Let’s be honest, how many times have you thought to yourself, “I’m better than my co-workers.”?

Illusions of Control
It’s like that we convince ourselves that the randomness of life doesn’t apply to us. Others may be unable to manage their own workload, but somehow we think we can. Many workers think that if they do their job well and stay ‘under-the-radar’ at work, then they should be able to keep their job as long as they want it, a controllable job security. Do you think your hard-working efforts on-the-job ensure a job is yours for as long as you want it?

Continue reading

Best Quotes “How I Met Your Mother”

Man, when I have kids,
and I’ll tell them how I met their mother,
I’m gonna tell them everything, the whole damn story..

Wow, this is my 100th post finally. I am still amazed at how far my personal page have been developed, which began with such humble expectations. To be honest, I’m writing here during my spare  alone time. Looking at back about posts that I’ve written, the more I realized how much my self has changed.

Usually, the tradition is “list 100 things about you”, but I have different opinion. I just want to write the quotes from my favorite Serial TV, where I grow up around them since three years ago. Those quotes are so related to me, and little bit also describe “things about me”. And, this quote from “How I Met Your Mother”, marks my 100th post. If you watched this Serial TV, you’ll know which scene from these quotes below.

About Love of My Life
Look, I know that odds are, the love of my life isn’t gonna magically walk through that door.. But, this seems as nice a spot as any to just, you know, sit and wait for a while, preparing myself at the same time..

It just felt nice actually. Where we can sit together just the two of us, and have a good casual conversation, with no intention of hidden “agenda”.. (~Ted to Robin)

Okay, I’m gonna say something out loud that I’ve been doing a pretty good job of not saying out loud lately. I’ve seen two people’s in love and really connected, and what I know what they had, I want that.. I do… I keep waiting for it to happen, and waiting for it to happen, and…I guess I’m just, um… I’m tired of waiting.. And that is all I’m going to say on that subject.. (~Ted)

I know that you’re tired of waiting, and you may have to wait a little while more, but she’s on her way, Ted. And she’s getting here as fast as she can.. (~Stella advise Ted)

I took a long walk that night. I thought about how opening myself up to another person usually means opening myself up to going a little crazy. I thought about how much easier it was just to be alone… (~Robin)

When it comes to love, the best relationships are the ones that just come naturally. I think that’s how it’s supposed to be. Have natural fun, and easy, and simple or uncomplicated. Because at some level, with the right person it has just to be easy. Looking at that girl and knowing she’s all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world… (~Ted)

Continue reading

25 Years Old, The Beginning of Reality

What makes a man who he is?
Is it the worst things he’s ever done,
or the best things he’s trying so hard to be?

I’m officially 25 years old, and suddenly, life is not so cool anymore. There’s some part of me that cringe as I approach this age. This milestone tend to get me thinking a lot & heavy, where I have to analyze every aspect, and surely on real-based. I know, who we are today is reflection about what we’ve done in the past, and who we are in the future is based on what we’ve done & decided today, right?

As I grow older, there are a lot of good moments happened in life, and they make life worth living. But the problem is, moments pass, and lurking around the corner from those moments is a cruel, named reality. I know it may sound stupid, but I didn’t always feel so great about myself growing up. But, It’s time to let go of the fantasies, It’s time to living in reality.

Where is it going? Who I’m gonna be in 10-15 years more? Where is place that I have to settle? What should I have done differently? Am I really happy with my life? Etc, and etc.. Then I start thinking about all the things in life that I haven’t done yet too.

Maybe this doesn’t happen to everyone, but it certainly happened to me. Because honestly, I really don’t want to just living life as if I had no choices, just like ” let the chips fall where they may”. But the problem is, some “fantasy” involved. As I reach 25, I really have to “delete” the fantasy part. Truth is, it’s quite scary.

Continue reading

Dan Hill – Sometimes When We Touch

And who am I to judge you on what you say or do?
I’m only just beginning to see the real you..
I’m just another writer still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter still trapped within my youth..

It’s September already. And well, soon, my age will be a quarter-century old. For sure, “this subject” is becoming more and more appear to the surface on my life. I’ve listened this song for quite a while, mainly because how much it’s related with me, especially for now. The lyrics, melody, & its harmony speak for itself, and really touches me, deeply.

For me, this song it’s not about “romantic-girlie song”. When I’m really listened to it, understand the lyrics, words & meaning behind the song, then I can see why many people actually played this song at their wedding.

For me, this song is about a man that struggling with his feelings for a woman.  He faced a moral battle between his heart & his mind. He has deep, truthful & hidden love that wants to be shared, felt, & received.

On one hand, he wants to say he loves her but he knows that he’s not yet able to give her “a secure life”, that could hurt her someday. At times, he thinks they can be just friends, while prepare everything to make her “a luckiest woman”, even that romantic feelings flares when they met. He just wants to be responsible for his feelings but still he’s afraid & confused, and yet he wish to be with her forever.

The song meaning is deep, gentle and honest for me. I don’t know, maybe in love & life itself, there’s so many things that have to not go right, before we get it right.

Continue reading