Two Years in Real World..


I think, most people have fancy expectations that one day,
we will find a person who really understands our experiences,
the woman who will bring peace to our restless life,
the job where we can fulfill our potential,
the book which will explain everything,
and the place where we can feel at home..

Well, It’s official. I’ve been living in a real world for two years since I’ve graduated from college. I think, I feel like I’ve grown up a lot since then, and all fancy expectations have been replaced with real responsibility, you know?

I look at my life, and I’m no longer studying & learning about how to do something, I’m actually doing it. Suddenly I’m being paid money to do something because it needs to be done. It’s not a case where if I don’t do it or I’m late in doing it, then I just get a bad grade.

And I think that’s how you know when you’re an adult. Not that college is easy or anything. But there’s a world of difference when you realize that you’re actually doing stuff, forging the way ahead.

During on college, my biggest concern was still trying to get assignments done on time, ensure that I didn’t oversleep in the morning when my professor took test, internet football forum stuff, PC games, new episodes of Serial TV, how to impress a girl from different faculty, and how to bail from relationships when it becomes too serious, etc..

All adult serious stuff such as long terms career, money flow, secure investment, inflation, future families that I’m going to build, and so on, only appears as pretty much a joke of fantasy.

But,now, I realize that I have to consider about those things, seriously, looking at as real responsibilities.

And it’s not just responsibility with respect to the company I work for. There’s responsibility for future family too. Even if I don’t have a family now, I feel the responsibility on my shoulders for the “ghosts” of my future family to come. I don’t have a wife or children now, but chances are good that I will at some point in the future.

And with this responsibility, I’m suddenly forced to have financial responsibility. With actual amounts of money, I have to ensure that those amounts are preserved, grown, and enough down the line for future.

Two years ago, before living in a real world, all I have just fancy expectations. But, after two years in a real world, reality revealed some uncomfortable truths, where, I do have a lot of real responsibilities.

Bukan Hasil Akhir..

Akhir-akhir ini, ada satu pertanyaan naif dari orang-orang sekitarku, yang kadang secara tidak langsung melemahkan semangat perjuanganku. “Kenapa orang kecil seperti kamu mesti kerja habis-habisan? Toh, gajinya cuma segitu-gitu juga”.

Dalam sujud panjangku semalam, ingatanku kembali melayang ketika masih di kampung dulu. Dulu, aku sering ikut orang tua pergi ke pasar pagi, pada pukul dua pagi untuk menjual hasil panen. Bertemu dengan manusia-manusia sederhana, tukang gorengan, penyapu jalan, petugas pembersih toilet, buruh tani, dll.

Apakah mereka akan mendapatkan hasil besar? Tidak..!! Meskipun mereka tahu bahwa tidak mungkin untuk mendapatkan pendapatan sejumlah miliaran atau sekedar ratusan ribu rupiah saja, namun mereka tetap melangkah, ikut terlarut dalam geliat hidup.

Dalam dunia nyata, setiap orang tahu, ada sejumlah hadiah disediakan bagi mereka yang berkoneksi sangat kuat. Bermodal teramat besar. Dan berkedudukan begitu tinggi. Namun, jika saja orang-orang yang tidak memiliki semua keistimewaan itu memilih untuk berhenti sebelum bertanding, kehidupan mungkin akan berubah menjadi sebuah ironi ketidakberdayaan.

Aku jadi sungguh merasa malu. Karena aku yang notabene lebih beruntung seringkali menyia-nyiakan potensi. Terlalu mudah untuk berkeluh-kesah. “Untuk apa bekerja jika dibayar dengan upah murah? Cuma membuat kaya para pengusaha saja! “Ngapain susah-susah jika gaji cuma segini?”

Padahal, orang tua sudah menyekolahkan dengan bersusah payah, mengumpulkan rupiah, demi rupiah, dengan terengah-engah. Supaya aku bisa jadi “orang”. Namun, setelah lulus? Setiap kali dihadapkan pada jalan yang menanjak sedikit saja, sudah cepat merasa lelah. Ketika tersandung dengan kerikil kecil saja, sudah mengeluh seolah kehilangan kaki sebelah. Mungkin, bukan peristiwanya yang menjadi musibah, tetapi sikap. Astaghfirullah…

Ya Rabb, jadikanlah aku ada dalam barisan hamba-hamba-Mu yang mampu memenuhi & menunaikan panggilan hidup, dengan segenap bekal yang telah Kau amanahkan dalam diriku. Panggilan hidup untuk menjalani kehidupan itu sendiri, jauh dari rasa takut & khawatir tentang hasil akhirnya…

I’m 24 years old

People live much of their lives in uncertainty.
What might happen in a week…a month…a year…
Never knowing for certain who we will meet along the way.
Who among the world of strangers will hold our hand,
Touch our hearts, and share the pain of trying..
I wondered about my own life,
if I would be able to answer the questions had kept appearing..

What can I say..I’ve became 24 years old today..Yep, 24 years old, the age where I’m kind of used to living in the real world. But, many things that I still cannot answer regarding my own life. You see, when you reach at some stages of age on life, you might be surprise to discover you still don’t have life quite figured out.

I know that My Life Destination still exist on “fantasy” and still take a long “road” to arrive on it. I can’t even guess how often I believed the thoughts I was holding onto were true, only to find out otherwise. I guess, it’s easier to see what we want than to look for the truth.

Maybe, It really is about the journey. While the end result could be anything, it’s the process of developing that provides me the most learning opportunities. Eventhough it takes my breath away sometimes. But that’s life. You know? You never end up where you thought you wanted to be. I’m sure, We have experienced disappointment in our life. It’s okay, those are old dreams..

Well, this year..?? The year that I’ve been dumped by a girl, the year that I’ve resigned from the job that I thought “what I really wanted”, the year that I’ve been unemployed for several months, the year that I’ve been rejected from many interviews, the year where things in my life were changing like crazy, and damn it if it wasn’t the best year of my life. Because, if any one of those things hadn’t happened, I never would have ended up and turned out to be an engineer on this company. Of course, the chapter is continued…

That’s the funny thing about destiny though. It happens whether I plan it or not. If I look back on those days, It’s kind of funny though. I can understand that everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Happy moments, sad moments, even the sheer stupidity moments, all occurred to shape me into who I meant to be..

Dear God, thank you so much for everything that You gave to me, through challenges as tests of persistence and courage that life throws at me during my quest to help me grow as a person..But, Honestly for me, my main question right now is, “Am I really good person..?? I mean, not in a joke, not rhetorical, or not in form of sarcasm, or, still depends on point of view..??”

Life Lessons from Children

Well, on “Lebaran / Idul Fitri” this year, I couldn’t go back to my hometown to celebrate with most of my family (as usual tradition). So, I’ve spent my Lebaran day in Jakarta where I’ve met some of children at this neighbourhood. And, I can’t help myself on noticing something, you know.

See, it’s kind of weird, when We’ve already Grow-Up with lots of responsibility, we wistfully look back to those carefree childhood days..!! But honestly, As I make the transition to adulthood, I certainly can learn by looking at how children see the world..

These are the three main lesson that I can see from children :

1. Living in The Moment

As I grow older, my thoughts become increasingly focused on either the past or the future instead of the now. It seem that I’m picking-up the art of nursing grievances about things that happened and worrying about things that may never happen.

But for a child, everything is unfolding in real time before his eyes. They haven’t yet learn the art of being consumed by past or future..

2. Living in The Heart

As I Grow older, my mind starts dominating rather than my heart. The heart is to the fore – the spontaneous, that does not plan or calculate, but just spontaneously acts, creates and discovers.

If you asked a bunch of six year old children “who can paint?” All hands would shoot up. But, the same question asked to adults might not raise any hands at all! As we grow up, we imbibe very fixed ideas and conventions about what we can and cannot do, but children have no such restrictions – life for them is just one long play session.

3. An Unconditional Love

As I grow older, love is something different perspective. Haven’t you noticed that, when we give our love to someone, we often do it with the subtle expectations of what the other person should do. Then when that person we love doesn’t fulfill our expectations, there can be a great deal of disappointment & hurt.

But when a child loves, their love is unconditional, and when they smiles at you, can feel it beaming from them like the rays of a sunbeam. It is a kind of love that comes straight from the heart, without preconditions or expectations. It is a pure expression of who they are. This kind of love is something that we can still access as adults, isn’t it..??

Lebaran Sepi di Rantau

Mudik, bagi para kaum rantau (seperti awak) adalah suatu keharusan. TV dan koran ikut menyemarakkannya. Bahkan minggu-minggu terakhir di kantor, udah gak ada yang konsen kerja lagi. Walaupun secara fisik masih di kantor, tapi jiwa sepertinya udah ada di kampung.

Ya mudik merupakan fenomena Ilahiah. Ada rasa kerinduan yang mendalam ketika lebaran tiba untuk pulang kampung. Sebuah tradisi yang menyemai nilai-nilai Islam yang sungguh luar biasa menyentuh bagi setiap insan.

Tapi tahun ini, awak tidak bisa mudik, tidak leluasa berkumpul di kampung. Karena libur kantor / aturan kerja yang tidak bisa ditawar, dan harga tiket yang “mantap” ketika H-1. Walhasil, terpaksa Lebaran di Jakarta aja. Meski awak merantau sudah lebih dari 5 tahun, tapi biasanya lebaran selalu ada di tengah mereka.

Ya, hari ini aku rindu segalanya tetek-bengek rumah. Aku ingin berkumpul bersama orang tua, bersenda gurau dengan kawan-kawan lama, berangkat ke masjid diiringi gema takbir bareng orang-orang sekampung, dan bersalam-salaman ke segenap orang.

Ah… sepi rasanya bila mengingat kebersamaan yang selalu ada di setiap lebaran. Dua malam awak bengong di depan jendela selepas tadarus, nyalain YM tanpa chatting karena yang OL sepi.  Dua malam ini seolah – olah “dunia” berkompromi agar awak merasa sepi dalam kerinduan pada suasana.

Rindu pada nuansa kebersamaan dan Idul Fitri di tengah keluarga. Rindu pada ketupat, rendang, dan kue khas Lebaran buatan Ibu. Dan rindu pada perasaan haru ketika sungkem di pangkuan Ayah-Ibu..

Busy..?? Really..??

“Being busy does not always mean real work.
The object of all work is production or accomplishment…”

~ Thomas Alva Edison

Last week I had a very full schedule. Meetings, events, analysis reports, engineering projects, etc. I felt sooo busy. Until, My Boss encourage me with simple question. He simply asked me : “Armet, When was the last time you heard a successful person regard to themselves as “busy”?!” Wow, this question really make me realize lot of things..

Do you remember the last time you asked someone how work was? How about life in general? What was their response? The unanimous answer: “busy”..!! The response is almost programmed. No need to think. And then they look at me proudly, as if I should be impressed. Well, I can’t say that I am.

I’ve noticed that We’ve talked of being busy for so long that we’ve forgotten that being busy was never the goal. We are not on this earth to be busy. We are here to contribute, build relationships, experience life, go places, create things, help others, or whatever else you decide. But I have a feeling that none of us feel we are here simply to be busy. Why are We thinking that busy is good, no matter what we’re busy with?

I’m sure that being busy is not the way we should measure our worth. I do not believe being busy is a worthy goal for any of us. I think that felt busy is simply a state of mind. And, the fundamental difference between busy and doing a lot is in the attitude. Whenever someone tells you they’re busy, there’s negativity in that statement. It’s more of a complaint then an actual representation of their reality.

Life can never be too busy for the things that matter most. Pride and satisfaction are not found in busy. It doesn’t mean I don’t get things done. It just means I have to enjoy, do them calmly and with intent.

Yep, I am done being busy. That is no longer my response to life. Enjoy the weight that gets lifted off my back simply by changing my focus. Perception is reality and I don’t need busy to be my reality. I bet you’ll get even more done and have time left over to do the things you really care about.

Is Your Life Story Worth Reading?

Everyone has their own life story. Whether having the idea of being in love, having the perfect job, etc, but , and when it’s all been said and done, will yours be worth remembering?

Can this be a seminal moment of your life? Going forward, can you look back on what you are doing now and say “that’s when things really started to get going?” Well, on my early adulthood years, I’ve always have those question on my mind: “is my life story interesting? Something I’d read or watch? What does my story say about my life?” And, these kind of question are always give me some moments to think about things that I want to do, U see…

Better Than Fiction

In the movie “Stranger than Fiction,” Harold Crick, played by Will Farrell, discovers he is a character in a novel being written by a famous author. He begins to hear her narration in his head, and comes to realize his life is being told as a story.

In reality all of our lives are stories. Some people are part of the story, others aren’t. But it’s always our story, the narrative of our life. I used to pretend that my life is a book or movie. I’ve even imagined a narrator telling my story as I go about day by day.

What it all comes down to is this. Is the story worth reading? Not to anyone else necessarily, but is your story something you’d like to read? I just hope so..

Section Two – The Next Chapters

Every moment of our life is a turning point. Some are more memorable than others, but every decision we make influences how the next chapter of our story will read. No matter what’s happened in our story so far, the next section, and the chapters it contains, can be different. They can be better.

There comes a point where I have to look at what’s been written and decide if I want to continue with the story as it’s shaped up so far. Kind of like my own personal “Choose Your Own Adventure” book. As I contemplate becoming a real engineer, or explore taking my knowledge to the next level, look back on how my story has come together. See what have been the central moments, the ones I have consciously written, and those that seemed to “just happen to me.”

And, my big question for now, Where will this chapters in my story take me? Let’s keep moving forward…

OCTG (Oil Country Tubular Goods)

Currently, as GT Engineer, I’ve been assigned for OCTG Implementation & Continuous Improvement Analyst for Oil & Gas Well Exploration. OCTG (Oil Country Tubular Goods) is a group of different families of steel pipes, that used on inside the engineered structures of Oil & Gas Well.

OCTG is designed based on API/ISO Specification or equivalent standard, that involves the definition of all casing and tubing specifications (lengths, diameters, wall thicknesses, steel grades, connection types, etc.) that meet all technical requirements (pressures, temperatures,corrosion resistance, etc.) in the most economically possible way (optimal technical / economical solution), with the final goal of achieving a given production rate of Oil & Gas.

OCTG comprises :

Casing is the main structural compound of an oil or gas well. The “big” diameter pipes serving as structural retainer for the walls of the well that prevents the whole Well to collapse (Support Wellhead equipment), prevent movements of fluids or gases from one formation to another, isolate the producing horizons and keep out undesired fluids, etc.

Tubing is a relatively small-diameter tube that runs into the production casing to serve as a conduit for the passage of oil or gas from the reservoir to the surface. Ends are threaded for special integral-type joints or fitted with couplings and may or may not be upset externally. This type of pipe is placed inside the well and used to produce or to inject fluids (the ones through which the fluids runs).

Drill Pipe
It is a pipe which transmits power by a rotating movement from the ground level to a rotary drilling tool placed at the end of the drill string. pipe used to make the well bore by transmitting power from the surface to a rotary drilling tool.

“Connections” is a mechanical assembly consisting of either two pins and a coupling in a threaded and coupled connections, or one pin and one box in an integral design. This is an area where much effort is focused in order to minimize the risk, improve the safety factor and put at the minimum the probability of failure of the string elements. Almost all the OCTG material are joined by threaded connections.

Well, I know that I need to learn a lot for now. My life isn’t a race, and to “master” something worthwhile does takes time. Because, even the great artist was first an amateur, right..??

It Goes On..

“In three words, I can sum up everything that I’ve learned about life: it goes on…” – Robert Frost

Most people change kind of slowly. They’re who they are, and then after a while, they’re someone else. But some people know the exact moment where their lives changed. It’s something they’ve gone through that makes everything they look at from that moment on seem very different from how it had always been.

You see, in this time, on my early adulthood, somehow, I felt that I need a mentor, who will help me to make sense of the world I am living in. But, after what I’ve been going through, I realized about the so called “Life is Teacher for each people”. I just think that all moments in my life is not coincidences and that every lesson that shown, is meant for me personally.

Usually, I like to think that I have some control over the events in my life. But then something happens to remind me that the world runs by its own rules, and that I’m just along for the ride. Well, I guess Life is one lessons after another. Some lessons are hard to learn, others are easy. But I really have no choice. I just need to view my life as a personal teacher, because It’s wasting time to spend the rest of days on cursing all the mistakes, errors or pains.

If I see myself a few years ago, I can see that everything is already different from how it had been. But, I think, I didn’t change, I just become who I really meant to be, through all life moments & its lessons..

A Fine Frenzy – Lifesize

I listened this song on How I Met Your Mother, Final Episode Season 5. It was splendidly chosen. Such a calming voice & sweet melodies.

The song was a soundtrack for the best ending ever on amazing quotes : “Kids, you can ask the universe for signs for all you want..But ultimately we only see what we wanna see,…When we’re ready to see it..”

Well, the song is about, I think it’s like, we all want to be great in the eyes of someone. It’s about how people feel when they are in love, they have someone in the world who sees them in a different light. But, It’s more than just about love, it’s also about feeling good about yourself, knowing you are someone special. It’s just so fantastical, isn’t it?

“Larger than lifesize, wondersome
Great in the eyes of someone”
“Larger than lifesize, wondersome
Great in the eyes of someone”

You can view the video and the lyrics below..

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