At the end of The Unforgiven, Gene Hackman laments to Clint Eastwood, “I don’t deserve this—to die like this.” Eastwood’s classic response: “Deserve’s got nothing to do with it.”
The same can be said for the way we look,
the way we live our lives,
the way we are treated by others,
the money we’re born into/not born into,
the talents we have/don’t have…
Life is unconcerned with “deserve”..!!
Life is… what life is.
You know, I see people fighting this reality at every turn, and the results of the struggle are ugly. You don’t believe me? Just try to consider the people you know in a professional context: do you know someone…(below?)
- Not getting the job because s/he is too proud to ask for help? (”I deserve the job that I can find by my own!”)
- Limiting his/her career by refusing to engage in politics? (”I shouldn’t have to play games!”)
- Walking into a crisis by refusing to mitigate foreseeable risks? (”People are supposed to follow directions, so that won’t be a problem!”)
Deserve..?? Should..?? Supposed to..??
As far as I am concerned, to be both successful and happy, the only prerequisite is to accept what is. Plans made on the basis of what should be are doomed to fail. Judgment—in the form of phrases like “deserve,” “supposed to,” “should be,” and the granddaddy of them all, “if only,”— is nothing but a heart breaker. Plans based on what is, on the other hand, work.
It is what it is.
It means that I don’t need to like my imperfections, I just don’t want to fight them. Because, there’s power in acceptance, right..??
Remember when Eminem does his final freestyle rap in 8 Mile? He may hate his life, but the moment he accepts it is also the moment he becomes unstoppable. And, in real life that moment can be applied for me too. Yeah, you know, I know what my goals are, but, at the same time, I can forget what I think the path “should” be.
Because when it comes to the path to my goals,
words such as “should”, “deserve”, and “supposed to” are irrelevant.
It is what it is.
And, I can enjoy “the ride”, freely..