Our Wedding Ceremony – The Second Day (May 11, 2014)

Our Wedding - Once in Lifetime

I still remember the moment when I first saw her.
I couldn’t stop staring at her.

There was something about her eyes and her smile,
that took me to a different place.
I wasn’t sure what was happening to me,
but I knew it felt exciting and scary at the same time.
It was like coming “home”, only to no home I’d ever known.

As the time passes, and we started to know each other,
it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up,
they meant we were supposed to be together,
and as stupid as it sound, I always believe it….

And so, here we are… Sit together on “pelaminan”…

So, let’s continue this story. Like I said, there are 3 main events on our wedding, the wedding vows (I wrote here), the first ceremony (I wrote here), and the last / final ceremony on the second day. The second day ceremony is like “main” day, the D-Day for all of our wedding ceremony, so to speak. This second day ceremony was held at my wife’s parent’s house.

The ceremony was actually receptions, and the sequence were actually simple. Me & my wife “basandiang” (sit together) on “pelaminan” (special decorated altar of minangkabau culture with long chair). Then, guests from family relatives, our parent’s friends, people from neighborhood, co-worker, and other invitations will come to celebrate with us, and greeted with various traditional-Minangkabau food. After guest finished eating, they will come near “pelaminan” stand to congratulate us, and of course taking photos with us to capture the moment. The ceremony will start at the morning, and it will be end at night.

Us & Our Parents

Captruring The Moment of Our Wedding Ceremony – Us & Our Parents

The Rich Culture of Minangkabau’s Wedding Ceremony

The special decoration of altar “pelaminan” shows the rich culture of minangkabau. When we sit on this “pelaminan”, it felt like we’ve been treated like “a king & a queen for one day”. It was dominated by gold color & red color that reflect for the feeling of glorious, happiness, and the sense of togetherness. It convey the message, that marriage is the window for the happiness.

Our Pelaminan - Minangkabau Wedding

Our Pelaminan Wedding – Minangkabau Culture

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Our Wedding Ceremony – The First Day (May 10, 2014)

Our Wedding Ceremony - First Day

Once in awhile,
Right in the middle of an ordinary life,
Love gives us a fairy tale…

What I’m feeling, I think, is joy…
I’ve felt that blinkered rush of happiness.
This might be one of those rare events that lasts,
one that’ll be remembered as months & years wind & ravel.
One of those sweet, significant moments,
that leaves a footprint in our mind…

It’s like I just wake up in the mornings,
and feel like I’ve just had the most incredible dream.
I’ve just dreamt my life…

The thing is, a photograph couldn’t ever tell its story.
It’s like something you have to live to understand.
Where things shift into focus for a moment,
and everything just makes sense….

Well, I know it’s like 2 months late post. But, like I said, I’ll make the post of our wedding story gradually, little by little. Because, sometimes to really being able to describe the big moment of our life with a carefully chosen words are still not enough to picturing those moments. It’s like something you have to experience it in order to understand it.

So, after Wedding Vows day, there will be wedding ceremony which will be held for 2 days. It’s a common thing in our culture, Minangkabau culture in West Sumatera, Indonesia. The first day, the ceremony will be mainly to be held at my parent’s house.

Going to My Wife’s House at Night After Wedding Vows

But, before wedding ceremony begin in the next day after wedding vows day, during at night, my family & relatives & our clan will take and accompany me to my wife’s parent’s house first. People from my clan would also bring the “rebana” (tambourine) group with me. (Note : “Rebana” / tambourine is one of classic music instrument used in Minangkabau culture).

Maanta Marapulai at Night After Wedding Vow

To be short, that night, when we arrived at my wife parent’s house, my wife family & relatives & their clan were welcomed us, and then after gathering and what not, Rebana group will play their music instrument as part of entertainment and also as part of showing respect to my wife parents & their relatives & their clan.

Barabano Maanta Marapulai

The value is that to acknowledge that my family have given me a blessing to move and live with the new family (my wife family) in a good will, and my wife family also welcoming me to be part of their family.

Wedding Ceremony at My Parent’s House

Then, in the morning, my wife family & relatives & their clan will bring & accompany me back to my parent’s house, where the first wedding ceremony will be held. This time, I’ve already official to be called Bride and Groom (in Minangkabau language, it’s called Anak Daro & Marakpulai).

Sebelum Berangkat ke Rumah Marapulai

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Wedding Vows (Ijab Qabul) on May 9, 2014

The May 9 2014 Day at Jami' Al-Syarif Mosque

This part of our lives,
this “once in a lifetime” part,
is called “Happiness”…

Starting from the day of Friday, May 9, 2014, will mark as the starting day on open-up the new chapter of our lives. This was the biggest moment of our life so far, a so called “the holly promise in front of God (Allah SWT)”.

May 9, 2014 is the day of our wedding vows which took place at Jami’ Al-Syarif Mosque of Sidang Koto Laweh, Tilatang Kamang, Agam, West Sumatera, Indonesia. Jami’ Al-Syarif mosque is also very near with my wife’s parent’s house.

Well, May 9, 2014 is the day when all pieces of puzzles finally falls right into its place, the day when two hearts sincerely commit to each other, the day when two families become one, the day that we both always have been dream of, the day when I finally able to call her the love of my life as “wife”, the day when she finally able to call me as “husband”, the most auspicious and blissful day of our lives, and the day that we’ll always remember on a lifetime.

I still remember that moment, saying out loud sincerely and genuinely of our “wedding vows”. In Indonesian language, it’s called “Akad Nikah”.

Ijab Qabul - Wedding VowsThe Wedding Vows (Ijab-Qabul)

Wedding vows word by me : “Saya terima menikahi anak kandung Bapak, Poppy Handayani, dengan maharnya satu cincin emas 5 gram, tunai, karena Allah SWT”.. The witness declare “sah” (legitimate) after that, and as such I’m officially married my wife. And thanks to God, I have to say the word of wedding vows only one time… 🙂

The Two Families Become One
Getting married doesn’t mean I only marrying her, it shall also mean to unite two families (my family and her family). For me this is one of the most interesting aspects of marriage though; two families, which in general circumstances would never even know each other before, are tied together for life.

Us and Our ParentsUs and Our Parents

Yes, seeing their child finally getting married surely to be one of the day that all parents look forward to. And for us, words will not able to express how much our gratitude for both of our parents. The two families become one. Thanks Moms and Dads, for everything.

Well, there are two big days in any love story, the day you meet the girl of your dreams and the day you marry her. Well, here we are, finally able to make reality on getting married, tying the knot, and commit to each other, the perfect ending to a perfect love story.

And in the end, all we can do is promise to love each other with everything we’ve got. Because love’s the best thing we do…

The Rollercoaster Life – Part 1 (Reflection of 5 Years in Real Life)

RollerCoaster Life

We can’t design our life like a building.
It doesn’t work that way.
Just take the leap, have faith to live it,
and it will design itself.
Well, It may become like a rollercoaster ride,
but we always have a choice,
to either scream or just enjoy the ride…

Well, life is really just going so fast. Somehow, I can hardly believe it. ‘Cause it felt like just yesterday that I graduate from college and being “thrown away” to a so called “Real Life”. And as this year kicking-off, I sort of forgot that it’s been more than five years since the day I got my first job, back in the end of 2008.

I think, this is surely a good time to reflect on what I’ve done for the past 5 years. Especially, I’m surprised at where I am at now, compared to five years ago. It may a long post, but personally, it’s worth my time to write & share it, as such I’ll write it on several part, and this post is the first part. As the saying goes, “It’s our experience that shape who we are”, right?

The Beginning

Back on October 2008, after recently-graduate, like any other recently-graduate, I was endlessly searching job, took job-test & job-interview in various companies, attended one job fair to another job fair, traveling from one city to another city. Starting from Bandung, and just in the space of two months, I went to visit several cities e.g Jakarta, Cikarang, Karawang, Bekasi, Depok, Cilegon, Pekanbaru, Duri, Semarang, Yogyakarta, Surabaya, even to Balikpapan.

Sometimes, I went from one city to another (faraway city) just in space of 2 days time. Even, I experienced one time where I was trying to rest in mosque, because I didn’t have time to find affordable place at the city I had never visited before. The harsh reality I had face at the time was it that, after countless job tests and all had the same ending, “no concrete job contract/offering”.

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Feeling of Resistance and Patience

The Pursuit of Happyness Quotes

When we pursue our dreams in life,
at some point we will inevitably encounter resistance,
stumble upon challenges we don’t want to deal with.
However, happiness is not the absence of problems,
but the ability to deal with them,
because nothing is absolutely perfect, isn’t it?

(~ARM)

This month, I became familiar with little thing called “resistance” in my daily job life. It’s kind of like temperamental toddler in my head, screaming & repeating, “I don’t wanna! I don’t wanna!”. It happens when I know I should do something, and I know I can do it, and yet, I just don’t wanna. And to make it worse, I can’t also saying “not to do it” just like that, even when I kept thinking, I wasn’t supposed to do it.

And yes, this kind of feeling bring back the old memories of my early career days working in my country. I know, in today’s busy workplace, this feeling of resistance can be easily sucked and sap our mental energy.

To be honest, I never thought that I’ll experience again this feeling when I’m working overseas. I don’t know, maybe It wasn’t life that was the problem, maybe it was my unrealistic expectations were clashing with reality. I had created a picture in my head of how life should be and when unexpected problems arise, I didn’t cope.

Focus on Long-Term, Weighing It Against The Reward

Everyone wants a job they love. We all want to wake up excited to go to work, spend our days accomplishing goals we’re proud of, and come home feeling pleasantly fulfilled. Oh, and somewhere in there, we’d like a paycheck that provides us with a comfortable lifestyle and may one day put our kids through college. That’s the dream anyway.

The thing is, there’s a natural give and take in career life. Usually, whenever something is gained, something else is lost. A wise choices, we must weigh the risks against the potential rewards. Make predictions and assumptions, and remember that one is not better than the other, they simply have different consequences, and, at times, great leaps of faith.

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The Leap of Faith – New Year 2014

 

UAE Fireworks

“When I look towards our future,
you are always pictured there..
Because, for the two of us,
home isn’t a place. It is a person.
And this year, let’s take the leap of faith step,
and say “we are finally home”..

Two years ago, I remember when I was going out when new year of 2012. That day, I looked out into the sea of Anyer beach, some fireworks buzzing in, and I couldn’t lie that most of the thing I felt in my heart was fear. I knew, that day, the path ahead of my life would not be smooth, it will be rocky and I may even felt like quitting at times.

So, I felt the fear that my life will be heading out nowhere, the fear whether I’ll be able to pick-up pieces in my life and continue to move forward, despite the harsh truth of reality and uncertainty, that life always throw at me.

But, in contrary, that was also the moment that I knew to become more Self-Acceptance. You see, as the saying goes, sometimes, things need to fall apart, to make way for better things.The eggs are already broken, maybe. So, let’s make sure, I get a pretty good omelet out of it.. For slight moment, I felt peace in my hearts that time, truthfully.

Realistically, and practically, I only had one choice – not only to accept, but to embrace the flow of life. Everything happens the way they happen. The only way I can adjust psychologically is to embrace the unexpected, and look for the good.

And, to be honest, that was the day that everything amazing was actually started in my life. An amazing thing that was far and far beyond my original dreams.

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Self-Acceptance Part 2

Your life, with all its ups & downs you’ve encountered,
has molded you to be the person you meant to be,
exactly what it needed to be..
If you have the courage to admit when you’re scared,
the ability to laugh even as you cry,
the nerve to speak up even if your voice is shaking,
the confidence to ask for help when you need it,
and the wisdom to take it when it’s offered,
then you have everything you need,
to be the better version of your today’s self.

(~Marc & Angel)

This is the main foundation which I’ve started since more than a year ago. I’ve written the first part regarding self-acceptance in here, where my first step is, to give-up the control, or letting go the the thing that I can’t control in my own life. Because, life doesn’t design like engineering. Now, I would like to continue it, the thing that I mostly did since last year.

You see, sometimes, we just cannot force life to go in the direction we want it to. Imagine allowing things to happen naturally, and things work out, and all we did was smile and watch. We don’t have to worry about shaping things, about controlling something that can’t be controlled. We don’t have to push, and fix leaks, and put out fires. We just let things work on their own. They happen, at the right moment, for the right reason.

The Art of “Give-Up”

For this year, what I’ve been trying to apply, is “the art of give-up”. The thing is, I’m simply allowing things happened and I watch my life story unfolded, little by little. Surprisingly, the more I stop “trying so hard to force things to happen”, the more they just seem to sort themselves out. The more I let things happen, the less time & less frustations I’ve experienced trying to make them happen.

So, here’s the thing that I “give-up” in the pursuit of self-acceptance:
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The Question That Change My Life..

There are times in life when you need to just settle for less,
There are also times in life when you know that you deserve more,
And you need a push & courage to make a big changes for real…
And sometimes,
that came when you honestly question yourself..

(~ARM)

I remember this kind of week last year, (you can read it here), at the time, I felt indeed, my life was out of balance. Although, I’m ready to just settle for the kind of life that I was living at the time, as part of Self-Acceptance to the reality of life, but I can’t help myself to just wondering that I need big changes.

Maybe, at that time, I was juggling a lot. I know, at the time, things are (mostly) on track, and I can see progress in the different areas my life on career, romance, and other things. Overall, it is working. Yet, inside I feel overwhelmed, and some days – just downright tired from juggling it all. I felt that I should be split into different pieces to give the right amount of attention that everyone is asking from me. Yes, I felt, that there is something missing.

Well, I’m sure that most of us go through this at some point in our lives. You know that feeling that something is not quite right? That something is missing in your life? Maybe, we don’t really understand what it is, but it scares us. So much that we’re willing to do almost anything to make it go away.

Then, I asked myself to be brave enough to sit still and really listen to myself. That night, the tiny voice inside my mind, a voice startles me, just as I began to slide into sleep. “Go, dream, seize this moment”, it says. On other side, my mind stirs and answers sleepily, “Why? I already know what’s out there isn’t worth it that much. I have everything I need right here. My mind is suddenly filled with a thousand concerns and a feeling of looming uncertainty wells within me like a slowly draining battery.

Tick, tock. Tick, tock. I heard the sound of my alarm clock, and I couldn’t seem to remember how long it’s been. It seems more like a dream — someone else’s life, not my own. The quiet metronome of the clock reminds me of the creeping complacency that’s slowly shrouded my life, like a cancer gone undetected until it’s too late. “I wasn’t always like this. What happened?”

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End of 2012 – De-Clutter The Mind

“Life is like a camera,
just focus on what’s important,
capture the good times,
and if things don’t work out,
just take another shot.”

New Year has almost arrive, and by the end of year, it is always good time for me, for de-clutter. Just like all previous end of year, it’s a time to shake off the cobwebs and clear the path for new beginnings, get rid of things that no longer have value to me. I don’t mean the material possessions, but mostly way of thought, habits, feelings, etc. It’s an excellent way for launching pad to embark on a new season, especially for personal growth.

You see, how much does your life weigh? Imagine for a second that you’re carrying a backpack, feel the straps on your shoulders. Now, pack it with all the stuff that you have in your life. Feel the weight as that adds up. Fill it all into that backpack, people who has negative influences in your life, fill it also with memories that used to drain you, add it with habits that overwhelmed you, add the unrealistic ambitions or “fantasy goals” in your mind”, and add the “If Only” situations in your life. Now try to walk. It’s kind of hard, isn’t it?

I think, this is what we do to ourselves on a daily basis. We weigh ourselves down until we can’t even move. Now, I’m gonna set that backpack on fire. Let everything burn and imagine waking up tomorrow with nothing. It’s kind of exhilarating, isn’t it? Because, I’m sure that I don’t need to carry all that weight, I just want to set that bag down.

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Cultivating A Peaceful Mind

Peaceful Mind does not mean to be in a place,
Where there is no noise, trouble or hard work…
It means, to be in the midst of those things,
and still be calm in your heart..

It’s been a while I haven’t written. It’s not that I lose interest for writing, but since last month, it’s been quite exciting busy time. Stability routines at the office are mixed with some interesting events (work-related events, City events, and Indonesian community events) and completing the closed-out of engineering projects. And the thing is, I feel like life just “come together”. It’s the feeling that I’m happy with who I am and what I do, and being able to go to sleep feeling fulfilled.

And the thing that I’ve notice about myself for now, I’m finally on the phase on my life where I’m able to just feel a peaceful mind, a feeling rest, and free of worried, so to speak. Although I just realized that, writing during “hard times” are much more “flowing” rather than “peace” time, but yes, I’m enjoying these moments of inner calmness, and freedom from lot of obsessing thoughts.

This is really the way of my life that It should be… Just peaceful, calm, relaxing, simple, uncomplicated, stable, and faraway from worries. 🙂

Having Boundaries

To be honest, being far away from my home country, actually give me an easier time. I can have a lot of alone time, which makes me rethink often, everything that is important to me. I start to really think about myself and paying less attention to what those around me are saying. This doesn’t mean I’m being selfish, it just gets me focused on what I want in life.

Because the main different thing that I can notice is that, It’s honestly good to have clear boundaries between professional life & personal life outside of work, because there is clear boundaries between co-workers and friends. I think, it help me a lot to feel more peace, since what happenend in the office just stay in the office completely. Why we should discuss a stressful project outside of office anyway.

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