Emotional Security From Within

This year have made me understand better than before,
how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way,
and that so many things that one goes worrying about,
are of no importance whatsoever…
I’ve been waiting for this phase in my life to begin,
a phase where I can just feel secure to be myself..



Here we go, the september almost over. This month, I’ve been focused to re-think about everything that is important to me, slightly quiet and enjoy the silence faraway from others, and paying less attention to what those around me are saying.

You see, within this year, I’ve tried hard to improve my sense for self-acceptance and be a friend to myself. To be honest, since few years ago, I used to be living on fear & wondering whether I’ll be able to achieve something big or not. Of course, when you do something out of fear, it will always result in failure.

I do remember the day when I felt a lot of doubt and insecure, I used to seek for the opinions of others before proceeding. It’s like I was ready to be lead by anyone who appears to know more than they do. At the time, I had no sense that I could control my path through life. I would simply wait for things to happen and then react to them.

But since I’ve became a friend to myself, and practicing the self acceptance, then I got those sense of purpose. The first step is to openly accept where you are right now, whether you feel good about it or not. Because, you won’t get any stronger until you accept where or who you are right now.

The main question is, “Do you want sympathy for creating what you don’t want, or do you want congratulations for creating what you do want?”

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Opportunity and Choice

Sometimes, opportunity knocks at the strangest times.
Well, I know, it’s not the time that matters,
but how I answer the door.
I mean, our life is defined by our own choice.
Our story may not have such a happy beginning,
but that doesn’t make you, who you are.
It is the rest of your story – who you choose to be…



You see, at every move in our life, we have to choose and proceed. We might like it or not. Life is nothing but a totality of conscious choices that we continuously make. Someone else does not choose for us in our life.

Sometimes we are left with no choice at all but to find ourselves at the crossroad of life, with two paths each beckoning and beguiling us. One is short, well kept, with flowery plants and bushes on both sides, so easy to negotiate, but ending up in a blank wall. The other is long, labyrinthine and bumpy, and difficult to negotiate, but ending up in a vast orchard of fruit-bearing trees and sweet-scented flowers.

For all I understand, where I am today is because of the choices I made in the past. But, Many times, I was at a dilemma just like, “To be, or not to be”, that is the question. It is easier to say this but, I know it isn’t so easy in practice, especially when those opportunities right in front of me.

There are no guarantees..

I don’t really know where a road will lead me until I take it. There are no guarantees. Nobody said that choosing to do the right thing all the time would always lead you to happiness. Loving someone with all your heart does not guarantee that it would be returned. Gaining fame and fortune does not guarantee happiness. Accepting a good word from an influential superior to cut your trip short up the career ladder is not always bad.

I mean, there are too many possible outcomes, which I really cannot control. The only thing I have power over is the decisions that I will make, and how I would act and react to different situations.

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The Lie to Ourselves, Stop It..!!

A man may become master of his destiny,
when he has power to influence his own mind..
If you aren’t doing it,
that means you don’t want it badly enough,
so stop kidding yourself..!!
Actions speak louder than words, definitely..

Are you…
…waiting to get the perfect job?
…waiting to perfect time to ask that cute girl?
…waiting to meet Miss Right?
…waiting to start living your life, on your own terms?
…waiting to an offering before you start the career you really want?
…waiting for someone, somewhere to tell you what’s important for you to do?
…waiting to give you permission to do what you want with your life?
…waiting for someone to take care of you?
…waiting for the great adventure finds you?
…waiting for the magic happens?
…waiting to start living, rather than just existing?

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR..??

Look, there’s something that I need to get off my chest. I’ve been thinking about this for a while. And I’ve noticed that our habits are the most part that create our life. It’s our habit that are in charge of our life. Because, the things I do every day are pretty much what I did yesterday and perhaps what I’ll do tomorrow.

One of the things that separates us from “having the time we want” is that we constantly, blatantly, and unapologetically lie to ourselves about our scheduling, abilities, and our priorities. I don’t deny I do it myself. And it kills my time, slaughters my schedule, and smashes my plans to tiny little bits.

But in all seriousness, we do lie to ourselves. For example, when you say “I don’t have the time to …”, that’s almost certainly a lie. Since I can walked on this earth and observing other people, I know that nobody operates at 100% efficiency.

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The Harsh Truth of Career

It might not be today, it might not be tomorrow.
Sometimes, it’s hard to hear these things
but, in the end, they make you stronger.
I might not even make it myself,
but I sure as hell ain’t leaving without putting up a fight..


As you see, career means a long term path of what we do that have directions & goals. And the thing is, just like everything else in life, there also some harsh truth that we need to face regarding our career. So, here is some facts that based-on my experience on real world… 🙂

Starts at the bottom

Almost everyone starts at the bottom. Regardless of what you think you deserve, you probably will to. Get over it, and just get started. And the thing is, it’s not enough to be good at what you do. Talent and skill will only take you so far. It’s like video game, more problems solved, the more experience gained, and the more character growth.

Job Hopper Fact

If you find yourself job-hopping, moving from one career to other different career in a short time, and still, nothing ever satisfies you for any period of time, it’s time to look at yourself. Most likely, you’re part of the problem.

Professional growth requires discomfort

Embrace it don’t fight it. There is no learning in the comfort zone. Achieving long-term career goals requires sustained effort and deliberate action. It’s no accident or coincidence. It’s a process that takes time. Sure, it won’t be fun at times, but nothing is. Do you really want to stay where you are and look back at your life in the future and regret not having taken the steps to go after it?

Your career is all about YOU

If you’re unhappy with your career, it’s up to you to change it. Sticking around because you’re afraid will only dig you deeper into the rut. No one else controls your situation. No one else responsible. Stop asking for everyone’s opinion about what you should do. Again, it is all about YOU.

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When The Storm Came..

Often, what’s going on in this mind,
is much more compelling, than what’s going on outside..
Maybe life is just a quick succession of busy nothings..
Or, maybe the state of our life is nothing more
than a reflection of our state of mind..


Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been completely swamped by work, especially due to Mechanical Completion of this project is on the verge of schedule, while still lot of things shall be done on time. It’s easy to feel panic during this period. Not consistently, but when it comes, it’s been a scary feeling.

I felt that I’m constantly on auto-pilot, working myself to the bone, and falling to overwhelming stress and pressure. I’ve noticed that I get overwhelmed and upset much more easily when I’m feeling tired or a bit grotty. I’m guessing this isn’t just me. I think most of us find that even little things can get blown out of proportion when we’re already run down.

And so I’ve been really focusing for the last couple of days on ways to be calmer, digging myself out, and writing this, is part of it. I know, sometimes, I’ve just got to hang on to something and let the storm run its course. Ultimately, it’s up to me to clear my own thought, as the saying goes that “our thoughts create our reality”.


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The Right Person Is..??

If true love is so important to everyone,
then why is that we have so many issues on finding it?
I know, we fear rejection, want attention,
crave affection, and dream of perfection..
But in the end, Life is what happens,
when you’re so busy making other plans…



True love is not easy, they’re hard work. It’s about compromise, growing together, etc, etc. But if it’s the right person, then it’s easy. Looking at that girl and knowing she’s all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world, right?

I know the odds are, the love of my life isn’t gonna magically walk through that door. I’m the only one with the power to change my life. I’m the only one who can attract a woman to me. I cannot stand by idly waiting for a woman to come along and sweep me off my feet. It’s not her job to do so.

But, how do we know about “the right person”? Because, as far as I concerned, It’s not always easy to see someone’s true colors. Sometimes, we must look beneath the feminine spell to find that fragile ego. Ignore the sparkle of the jewel, bring the truth out of the shadows, to see the real beauty of her smile..

Besides that, true love doesn’t happen right away, it’s an ever-growing process. It’s like Engineering, It has phase for “developing”. There is Issued for Internal Review, Issued for Approval, Issued for Design, and Issued for Construction..

The Real Truths..

You see, we shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in someone’s life. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. On the other hand, if someone wants to be a part of your life, they’ll also make an effort to be in it. It’s just stupid to insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth, because if they know your worth, they will create a space for you.

But, somehow, I don’t know what a privilege it is to grow old with someone, who doesn’t drive me “insane”, or doesn’t humiliate me beyond repair. But, the thing is, it’s about two people being true to each other, even when they are separated in distance. I mean, remaining faithful is never an option, but a priority. Loyalty is everything.

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The Self-Acceptance Part

Sometimes, things need to fall apart,
to make way for better things..
The eggs are already broken.
So, let’s make sure,
We get a pretty good omelet out of it..

(~Ted – HIMYM)


“Adulthood” isn’t a tangible thing that people can suddenly possess. There were a time, when I wake up in the morning, it felt like life was out to get me. It seems that my life has veered off its anticipated “track” while everyone else’s is charging ahead. To be honest, it create some inevitable anxiety.

I know that, entering the real world can sometimes feel like stepping into a horribly disappointing surprise party. Surprise! It’s the worst job market in decades. Surprise! It cost a quarter of your paycheck. Surprise! Your favorite artist fantasy lied—about everything. And on it goes..

While it’s easy to project our feelings of anxiety as surprised when others taking a huge step on their life, but maybe that shiny new diamond is just one part of the story. So, I’m kind of realized that there’s just something about my life that I have yet to figure out, and I think it’s a Self-Acceptance.

Since I’ve graduate from college, I lived in various city in this country. At some point, having a chance getting to know lot of people (with different ethnic backgrounds, from different cities and countries, who live at various socioeconomic levels), I begin to understand that everyone basically wants the same things. The way we pursue these desires is where things branch off, but the fundamentals are the same. I can easily notice that, people want validation, love, happiness, fulfillment and hopes for a better future.

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Financial Freedom = Happiness

It’s not your salary that makes you rich,
it’s your spending habits..
Don’t let your fantasies speed-up your reality..
Bury your financial fantasies,
work hard, spend & invest wisely..
~ Charles A. Jaffe



Most people said, money isn’t important, or money does not buy happiness. How many times have you heard this? Lots of times, I am willing to bet!!! Many will argue that money is an object that, while making life a little easier, doesn’t or can’t buy happiness. My view is slightly different, and I think I’ve had enough “education” in this regard.

I mean, I do subscribe to the notion that money isn’t everything, but I also believe that it is a major, critical facet of life today. If we can take the need for money out of our life’s equation then we will be free to live life as it’s meant to be lived. But as long as it remains a means for survival, nobody can tell me money isn’t important or doesn’t create an immense amount of unhappiness and stress.

I mean, after pass the college and living in reality for few years, met a lot of people that having different socio-economic life, I realize that it’s not about “the money itself”, but the most important thing is the saving, or a sufficient continuous income. Because, our savings, believe it or not, affect the way we stand, the way we walk, and our self-confidence.

What I understand, the harsh truth is that, a man without savings is always running. He must take the first job offered. He sits nervously on life’s chairs because any small emergency throws him into the hands of others. Without savings, a man is often fearful of the present and the future. Being in a constant state of fear is a horrible way to live, right?


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The Overwhelmed Part

Life Crisis

At some stages of our life,
We will deal with things We are overwhelmed with misery and anxiety…


2 months ago, at the end of day, I’ve got formal feedback from my boss. In one side, I felt grateful for being labeled an excellent performance. On the other side, I felt so worried to maintain this, to maintain the perfect “season”..

I think that’s where everything start. More and more responsibility, with more complex technical-based of task comes to my desk. I do know that these responsibilities reflect their trust on me. But, it left me with a huge burden to finish it in perfect way.

And finally, today is the point of my life where I’ve really got caught with tired, stress, and simply couldn’t keep up with the pace of progress. More and more problems are showing up on my daily job, uncontrollable. All of dreams for my future-living, just to be replaced by exhausted reality, attacked day by day..

It’s just, I’m finding every little step is a struggle, like I’m carrying too heavy a load, that as I walked, it seemed to grow heavier and heavier. Sometimes, “tiny” things can be surprisingly significant weighing me down. I’m not strolling along easily any more. I’m not enjoying the journey. Every step feels like a big effort – and I just can’t understand why..

I felt that I’ve got caught up in a relentless downwards spiral. Guilt-trip on telling myself that I shouldn’t feel this way. I’m angry to myself, and frustrated with my performance, felt lonely somehow, felt upset and scared with my expectations..

It wasn’t like the old time, where I was just happy and thriving despite everything the world threw at me. And the worst part, I really felt so alone to face it..

I know – I know – I’m telling myself, over and over again, that this feelings are all just in my head and I’ve got the power to choose them. But, that doesn’t make it a lot easier. It just makes me beat myself up. “Why can’t I cheer up? I should pull myself together. I need to be stronger. There must be something wrong with me”. Whatever it is, I feel like I’m being slowly crushed..

I don’t like how my feeling. I know when we’re overwhelmed, it’s easy to end up going in circles. But, I really don’t know where to begin sorting through all the stuff that makes up my life. I’m afraid that if I stop, I’ll be left behind..

And, it is hard to take a break too. There is always “deadlines” everyday, a lot of commitments which I just can’t get away from. I’m really confused with the next steps, which’ll get me closer to where I want to go..?? I really just hope to overcome the overwhelmed quickly..

I’m 24 years old


People live much of their lives in uncertainty.
What might happen in a week…a month…a year…
Never knowing for certain who we will meet along the way.
Who among the world of strangers will hold our hand,
Touch our hearts, and share the pain of trying..
I wondered about my own life,
if I would be able to answer the questions had kept appearing..


What can I say..I’ve became 24 years old today..Yep, 24 years old, the age where I’m kind of used to living in the real world. But, many things that I still cannot answer regarding my own life. You see, when you reach at some stages of age on life, you might be surprise to discover you still don’t have life quite figured out.

I know that My Life Destination still exist on “fantasy” and still take a long “road” to arrive on it. I can’t even guess how often I believed the thoughts I was holding onto were true, only to find out otherwise. I guess, it’s easier to see what we want than to look for the truth.

Maybe, It really is about the journey. While the end result could be anything, it’s the process of developing that provides me the most learning opportunities. Eventhough it takes my breath away sometimes. But that’s life. You know? You never end up where you thought you wanted to be. I’m sure, We have experienced disappointment in our life. It’s okay, those are old dreams..

Well, this year..?? The year that I’ve been dumped by a girl, the year that I’ve resigned from the job that I thought “what I really wanted”, the year that I’ve been unemployed for several months, the year that I’ve been rejected from many interviews, the year where things in my life were changing like crazy, and damn it if it wasn’t the best year of my life. Because, if any one of those things hadn’t happened, I never would have ended up and turned out to be an engineer on this company. Of course, the chapter is continued…

That’s the funny thing about destiny though. It happens whether I plan it or not. If I look back on those days, It’s kind of funny though. I can understand that everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Happy moments, sad moments, even the sheer stupidity moments, all occurred to shape me into who I meant to be..

Dear God, thank you so much for everything that You gave to me, through challenges as tests of persistence and courage that life throws at me during my quest to help me grow as a person..But, Honestly for me, my main question right now is, “Am I really good person..?? I mean, not in a joke, not rhetorical, or not in form of sarcasm, or, still depends on point of view..??”