Yeah, I know, I’m kind of reach my low points in this time.
And, it makes me felt angry, and at the same time, also, sad..
But, last night, in Qiyamullail time, I was questioning myself.
What actually did make me feel angry, dissappoint, or even sad?
Job..?? Girl..?? Friends..?? or maybe, “stupid” football..??
Then I realized, none of all that matters.
It’s just because all of my expectation or maybe my ambition.
And, of course, I’m afraid to fail.
When I was a little, I liked to think that I knew everything,
but the last thing I really wanted, was to know too much.
What I really want was for grown-ups to make the world a safe place
where all my dreams can come true..
And when I was a kid, it didn’t seem like a lot to ask..
It’s been two months already…
And, everything still the same..
There are no events happened,
no exciting experienced, and no story to be told.
Since that “October, 25” day, I’ve been struggling a lot,
to find my destiny, my path, my adventure,
my dream, my hope, and my life…
You know, to define “a real life” means.
It’s just, still unknown and hidden..
Yeah, I know…
Like I always believe,
Sometimes the best way to move into “the unknown”,
is to take familiar steps, small steps…
To do ordinary things to deal with something that is in no way ordinary.
Because, familiar things just let me to pretend
that I’m not moving into unfamiliar territory. .
I’ve tried to take those small familiar steps.
And to be honest,
This is the times that what I need is a piece of how things used to be.
“Things” that used to be going well with my plan and with “what I want”…
We’re always going someplace new, all the time, right..??
But, for me, it’s still unanswered question.
Where is that “someplace new”..??
Wow.. What can I say..???
Finally, I’ve graduated…
Somehow, still I can’t believe it that I can make it..
It’s the happiest moment of my life so far..
The moment that I’ve been dreaming since a long time ago..
Do you know, what kind of moment that makes it perfect..??
To see their kids to graduate is priceless moments..
Try to look into your parent’s eyes in that day,
you’ll just understand their feelings…
it’s so full of proud, so happy, and so thankful…
That is one of the best present that I can give to my mom and my dad..