Menjadi Calon Imam Untukmu..

Ukhtiku..
Aku belum tahu, apa namamu pernah terucap dalam serak suaraku,
Aku belum tahu, apa asal usulmu pernah hadir dalam diskusi kehidupanku
Aku belum tahu, apa wajahmu pernah mampir dalam mimpi-mimpiku
Namun hidupmu akan selalu mengaliri semangatku
Sebab, kau adalah hadiah agung dari Tuhan..
..Untukku

Ukhtiku..
Maklumilah bila sampai saat ini aku belum datang,
Bukan ku tak ingin, bukan ku tak mau, bukan ku menunda,
Tolong jangan paksa aku, aku hanya ingin berkarya..
Karena hidup itu bukan hanya untuk memikirkan siapa jodoh kita.
Tapi, berpikir akan membangun visi & hidup seperti apa bersama jodoh kita..

Ukhtiku..
Aku masih dalam proses pembelajaran, muridnya si guru kehidupan..
Belajar untuk konsisten dalam perjuangan hidup..
Belajar agar kelak mampu menjadi Imam yang kamu syukuri kehadirannya..
Dan, adalah sangat tidak adil bagi hidupmu,
jika aku membebanimu dalam lingkaran ketidakmatanganku sekarang..

Ukhtiku..
Di mana pun engkau sekarang, janganlah gundah, janganlah gelisah
Aku akan datang, tapi memang tidak sekarang,
Karena jalan ini masih panjang..
Resah hati itu kadang memang datang tanpa diundang,
Tentang sekelebat bayang, tentang sepenggal masa depan..
Tapi, karang asaku tiada ‘kan terkikis dari panjangnya jalan perjuangan,
hanya karena sebuah kegelisahan..
Lebih baik mempersiapkan diri sebelum mengambil keputusan,
Keputusan besar untuk datang kepadamu..
Karena, siapa aku, bukan hanya dari apa yang ada di dalam hatiku,
Tapi juga tercermin dari sikap & langkahku..

Ukhtiku..
Aku akan belajar untuk mampu berbicara benar padamu,
dan bukan hanya sekedar membenarkan kata-katamu..

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Goo Goo Dolls – Feel The Silence

In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take,
Relationships we were afraid to have,
and decision we waited too long to make..
As the saying goes, silence is often the loudest cry…

 

Well, I used to hear this song during late at night. It has so much meaning and depth. Sometimesn, It just feels like this song’s written for me. I know it isn’t, but having it feel that way is what music’s supposed to do to you, right?

The first time I heard this song it hit me like brick wall. It’s the kind of song that make me thinking about life in general. This song makes me feel like I’m apart of something a lot bigger than myself and my own problems.

I think this song is about dealing with someone who he really care about. He wants to help this person and become part of her world. She may be struggling with something. Maybe her life is hard, or she’s going through a hard time.

Even though he thinks he may know a great deal about her, he can’t help her. He only know that something is wrong, yet he can’t reach her. He feels like she hasn’t told him everything, that there is so much more to her life that she hasnt’ shared with him yet (positive or negative things).

And he’s trying so hard to let her trust him. But, she just won’t completely let her guard down for some reason. And no matter how much he would like to help, she can’t seem to let him in.

And after a while of being persistent, he come to realize that she will tellhim in her own time when she is ready … Because, sometimes what a person needs most is a hand to hold and a heart to understand, right? It’s really quite sad, but true. It happens…

Yup, hope you enjoy the song…

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The Right Person Is..??

If true love is so important to everyone,
then why is that we have so many issues on finding it?
I know, we fear rejection, want attention,
crave affection, and dream of perfection..
But in the end, Life is what happens,
when you’re so busy making other plans…



True love is not easy, they’re hard work. It’s about compromise, growing together, etc, etc. But if it’s the right person, then it’s easy. Looking at that girl and knowing she’s all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world, right?

I know the odds are, the love of my life isn’t gonna magically walk through that door. I’m the only one with the power to change my life. I’m the only one who can attract a woman to me. I cannot stand by idly waiting for a woman to come along and sweep me off my feet. It’s not her job to do so.

But, how do we know about “the right person”? Because, as far as I concerned, It’s not always easy to see someone’s true colors. Sometimes, we must look beneath the feminine spell to find that fragile ego. Ignore the sparkle of the jewel, bring the truth out of the shadows, to see the real beauty of her smile..

Besides that, true love doesn’t happen right away, it’s an ever-growing process. It’s like Engineering, It has phase for “developing”. There is Issued for Internal Review, Issued for Approval, Issued for Design, and Issued for Construction..

The Real Truths..

You see, we shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in someone’s life. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. On the other hand, if someone wants to be a part of your life, they’ll also make an effort to be in it. It’s just stupid to insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth, because if they know your worth, they will create a space for you.

But, somehow, I don’t know what a privilege it is to grow old with someone, who doesn’t drive me “insane”, or doesn’t humiliate me beyond repair. But, the thing is, it’s about two people being true to each other, even when they are separated in distance. I mean, remaining faithful is never an option, but a priority. Loyalty is everything.

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The Lesson From Past Relationships

What we crave most in this world is connection..
Fate working its magic, and, that’s great.
But that’s not the way it really works..
It’s complicated, it’s messy..
It’s about horrible timing & fumbled opportunities..
And not being able to say, what you need to say,
when you need to say it..
At least, that’s the way it WAS for me..



Everyone has their own story & gone through something, including on romance part. You see, each relationship is a reflection of ourselves (whether good or bad). Subconsciously, it’s a reflection of our deepest insecurities and needs. And when I really take the time to reflect the good or bad times, clear all the baggage, it is a window into my soul.

As far as I understand, all successful relationships require some work. They don’t just happen, or maintain themselves. They exist and thrive when both parties want to take the risk of sharing what it is that’s going on in their minds and hearts. Yup, open communication & honesty is fundamentals.

When I look to my past, I can easily identify the pattern of problematic relationship. I think, they are common relationship problems that makes why many romantic partnerships do not work out. Here’s the thing that I can write for now, and also some lesson its moving-on.

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Dan Hill – Sometimes When We Touch

And who am I to judge you on what you say or do?
I’m only just beginning to see the real you..
I’m just another writer still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter still trapped within my youth..



It’s September already. And well, soon, my age will be a quarter-century old. For sure, “this subject” is becoming more and more appear to the surface on my life. I’ve listened this song for quite a while, mainly because how much it’s related with me, especially for now. The lyrics, melody, & its harmony speak for itself, and really touches me, deeply.

For me, this song it’s not about “romantic-girlie song”. When I’m really listened to it, understand the lyrics, words & meaning behind the song, then I can see why many people actually played this song at their wedding.

For me, this song is about a man that struggling with his feelings for a woman.  He faced a moral battle between his heart & his mind. He has deep, truthful & hidden love that wants to be shared, felt, & received.

On one hand, he wants to say he loves her but he knows that he’s not yet able to give her “a secure life”, that could hurt her someday. At times, he thinks they can be just friends, while prepare everything to make her “a luckiest woman”, even that romantic feelings flares when they met. He just wants to be responsible for his feelings but still he’s afraid & confused, and yet he wish to be with her forever.

The song meaning is deep, gentle and honest for me. I don’t know, maybe in love & life itself, there’s so many things that have to not go right, before we get it right.

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Types of Women I Can’t Stand

First of all, it’s not exactly black & white. Keep in mind that many women may show some traits from more than one category listed below and still be great girlfriend material. After all, it’s not exactly news that women tend to be more emotional than men.

Here is the the personality types of woman that I can’t stand :


Agony “Aunt”
There are some women who constantly feel they are an ‘advisory person’. They feel it is their business to hear out the whines of everyone and suggest suitable solutions. They’re so deeply involved in this “part-time” job that they inadvertently sound like they are advising you as well. Nobody wants to date a mom, you know..


Miss “Sharp” Mouth
Any conversation will end-up with two or three words that “too mean”. Her manner is really frustrating. She isn’t concerned at all if they hurt you or anybody else. If you manage to make it through one hour of listening to her manner on talk, mean you can survive on anything.


Miss Needy / Miss Insecure
This woman seems great at the start, because she’s very nice. Then, soon, she’s calling you 10 times a day, asking to see “where the relationship is going,” or she’ll ask you if you still love her about a thousand times. She’s clingy, needy and compulsively agonizes that she thinks that you’re going to leave her at any moment for another girl.

Let’s face it: If you can’t have a little independence in relationship, it’s never going to last. Unless, of course, you’re also needy.


Drama Queen
In particular, her hobby is to dramatize about absolutely everything. Small things are easily been blown out of proportion. She talks like everything is “tragedy”. If you advise her, then she felt been judged. If you just silence, she thought you didn’t care. During her “drama movies”, you can see that her sense of logic is out of whack. Unless you’re into lots of drama and screaming.


Miss Elusive
She is usually one of the “walking wounded” — someone who has been hurt in past relationships and so subconsciously sabotages new relationships in the present. Your association with her will be one of utter frustration, she shows great interest in you, but very quickly runs away, then repeats this cycle over and over again.


Miss Desperate
Maybe because she felt really lonely. So, Miss Desperate wants to have boyfriend right now. She doesn’t care who the guy is, or what he does, didn’t need to go for “knowing each other” phase, as long as she can got boyfriend right now. It can be felt really creepy pretty fast.


Miss “Princess”
The Princess is high maintenance girl. She is entirely focused on herself. She needs to be the constant center of attention. She is a self-serving narcissist who was raised as “daddy’s little girl,” and expects the same from you. She will constantly keep you busy taking care of her every need. And Princess absolutely has no idea that real life consists of paying bills and cleaning toilets.


Miss Controlling
She is a subtly nasty one who will wind up directing every phase of your life. She will tell you what to wear, where to go, who to talk to, what friends you can have, what you can eat — everything. And if you try to stand up for yourself, she will cry, scream, pout, or use any other deceptive female “tactic” until you give in and succumb to her demands.


Miss Worker Bee
If you are buzzing nineteen to a dozen only about the presentations you have to make for the boss, deadlines, colleagues, HR head and the office janitor – it’s obvious you have nothing else to talk about. A man may want to know about your interests, your views on him, and more, but you prefer to hide behind ‘work’ all the time. If you want a man, any man actually, please get a life first.

“That” Subject..

 

When you’ve already grown-up,
have graduated from college & have a stable job,
then, things such as love, serious relationship, and (even) marriage,
slowly starting to appear on the surface that hard to be ignored..


You know, When you’re single, and your friends or people that closed on your life start to get married, every wedding invitation presents a strange moment of self-evaluation. What it’s really asking is, “Where do you see yourself..??” The thing is, at this age, love is not supposed for just another “trial & error”, it just has to be really, really “right”, I mean, “the one”. And, to get that, it’s hard, honestly.. 🙂

Well, I know relationships aren’t easy, they’re “hard work”. It’s about compromise, growing together, and other crap list continued. But if it’s the right person, then it’s gonna be just easy. Looking at her and knowing she’s all I really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world. Because, the best relationships are the ones that just come naturally. Have natural fun, easy, and simple, or uncomplicated. And, if it’s not like that, then it’s just not meant to be..

Because, if it’s too complicated, maybe it means that we don’t connect on fundamental levels. Then, of course there will be “break-up” & “drama” phase. And funny thing about break-up, there is no good way. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try to do the right thing for break-up, there is always one side that have to face & deal with “humiliation”..

The point is, I’ve felt enough for “trial & error” phase. Because, I think I don’t want to just wasting my time, my energy, and of course my heart, to a girl that literally will not meant to be with me. What is the point of climbing a ladder if it’s leaning against “the wrong wall”, right..??

I know that odds are, She’s not gonna magically walk through that door, but this seems as nice a spot as any to just, sit and wait for a while, preparing myself on any side. Right now, I don’t know who she is, or, where or when We will meet. But, I think for the most part in my life, ultimately, I will only see what I want to see, when I’m ready to see it. And that’s all I’m gonna say to this very own subject… 🙂

Why Do Women Love Mechanical Engineer..??

Mechanical Engineer

I’ve got this article from facebook Mechanical Engineer group..
It’s so great and so true…But, It’s just for fun, okay..!!

Why Do Women Love Mechanical Engineer..??
Because :
1. The world does revolve around us… We choose the coordinate system..
2. No “couple” enjoy a better “moment”..
3. We know how to handle stress and strain in a relationship..
4. We have significant figures..
5. We understand the motion of rigid bodies..
6. Projectile motion: Do we need to say more..??
7. Engineers do it to specification..
8. According to Newton, if 2 bodies interact, forces are equal and opposite
9. It’s not the length of the vector that counts, but how We apply the force..
10. And, WE KNOW THE RIGHT HAND RULE..!!

wuakakakwkakwk…

Nada Surf – Inside of Love

Well, if you watched How I Met Your Mother 1st season,
You’ll know this beautiful song…
I’ve got the video from youtube,
it was capturing perfect moments from this song in the serial movie…

And, since I always like alternative music, of course this one also alternative..

Intro: A  Dsus2
Chorus :
A  E   (F) F#m  Bm  D
Bridge : A  E   (F) Bm  F#m  D


Watching terrible TV, It kills all thought
Getting spacier than, an astronaut…


Making out with people, I hardly know or like
I can’t believe what I do, late at night…

Chorus:
I wanna know what it’s like, on the inside of love
I’m standing at the gates, I see the beauty above…

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Way Back Into Love…

love_3_by_mjagiellicz

Yup, sometimes, it’s always appear the question in my mind…
Where is the love that I’ve been wanted..??
A love of a lifetime..Am I still too young for it..??
Or, is it still not the right time..???

When I have this moment of missing/lonely,
I usually listen this song for quite a few times..
Yeah, It just for reminds me, that there will be “her” for me someday..

This song is a soundtrack for Music & Lyrics movie..
A quite good comedy-romance movie though…
And, the song, it’s really fit into the story..
And, for some moment, it fits me too..

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