“When I look towards our future,
you are always pictured there..
Because, for the two of us,
home isn’t a place. It is a person.
And this year, let’s take the leap of faith step,
and say “we are finally home”..
Two years ago, I remember when I was going out when new year of 2012. That day, I looked out into the sea of Anyer beach, some fireworks buzzing in, and I couldn’t lie that most of the thing I felt in my heart was fear. I knew, that day, the path ahead of my life would not be smooth, it will be rocky and I may even felt like quitting at times.
So, I felt the fear that my life will be heading out nowhere, the fear whether I’ll be able to pick-up pieces in my life and continue to move forward, despite the harsh truth of reality and uncertainty, that life always throw at me.
But, in contrary, that was also the moment that I knew to become more Self-Acceptance. You see, as the saying goes, sometimes, things need to fall apart, to make way for better things.The eggs are already broken, maybe. So, let’s make sure, I get a pretty good omelet out of it.. For slight moment, I felt peace in my hearts that time, truthfully.
Realistically, and practically, I only had one choice – not only to accept, but to embrace the flow of life. Everything happens the way they happen. The only way I can adjust psychologically is to embrace the unexpected, and look for the good.
And, to be honest, that was the day that everything amazing was actually started in my life. An amazing thing that was far and far beyond my original dreams.
Maybe, that’s life. It’s like chess, the key is to always trying to see every possible outcome. Yes, I was scared. But, doesn’t being scared let us know, that we’re on to something important? I mean, if we’re not scared, we will not taking a chance.. And if we’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing in this life..????
Fast forward two years after that day, here I am now. Standing to watch “fireworks extravaganza” in other country that I’ve called “new home” now, faraway from my home country, peacefully. Watching those fireworks, it remind myslef, to life on following passion, live the life to the fullest, surrender the uncotrollable, and and take actions to fight my own fear.
The only thing that missing for watching those beautiful fireworks extravaganza is the love of my life that not yet standing beside me. But, I know, it also encourage me, that I have to take the leap of faith to be with her on this year.
Yup, that’s the main thing that I will do this year. To take the leap of faith on “tying the knot” and start to build a new life with her. A woman who steal my heart right at the very first moment I met her 11 years ago.
I’m coming for you, dear…