The Right Person Is..??

If true love is so important to everyone,
then why is that we have so many issues on finding it?
I know, we fear rejection, want attention,
crave affection, and dream of perfection..
But in the end, Life is what happens,
when you’re so busy making other plans…

True love is not easy, they’re hard work. It’s about compromise, growing together, etc, etc. But if it’s the right person, then it’s easy. Looking at that girl and knowing she’s all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world, right?

I know the odds are, the love of my life isn’t gonna magically walk through that door. I’m the only one with the power to change my life. I’m the only one who can attract a woman to me. I cannot stand by idly waiting for a woman to come along and sweep me off my feet. It’s not her job to do so.

But, how do we know about “the right person”? Because, as far as I concerned, It’s not always easy to see someone’s true colors. Sometimes, we must look beneath the feminine spell to find that fragile ego. Ignore the sparkle of the jewel, bring the truth out of the shadows, to see the real beauty of her smile..

Besides that, true love doesn’t happen right away, it’s an ever-growing process. It’s like Engineering, It has phase for “developing”. There is Issued for Internal Review, Issued for Approval, Issued for Design, and Issued for Construction..

The Real Truths..

You see, we shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in someone’s life. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. On the other hand, if someone wants to be a part of your life, they’ll also make an effort to be in it. It’s just stupid to insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth, because if they know your worth, they will create a space for you.

But, somehow, I don’t know what a privilege it is to grow old with someone, who doesn’t drive me “insane”, or doesn’t humiliate me beyond repair. But, the thing is, it’s about two people being true to each other, even when they are separated in distance. I mean, remaining faithful is never an option, but a priority. Loyalty is everything.

Be The Right Guy First..

Even when I exclude the religion talks, “the value of fair” will still be the same. In order to be with the right woman, I have to be the right guy first. It’s kind of funny though, lots of people want to meet with the right person, but they didn’t put significant effort to be the right person for someone else first.

I think, any woman want a man who can treat himself in a good way. Treating yourself with respect does not mean you should be a self-centered jerk. If you cannot figure out how to solve your own problems, then how can you help her, or even others problem once you both built a family?

Yes, any woman want a proven provider. It takes a strong commitment to one another, and if I do not display, “I can take care of anything” attitude, then indeed, love will not carry you through the hard times, especially when there are a big stack of bills that need to be paid. It’s about being responsible, not just being helpless.

So, I used to ask myself, am I ready to take control of my situation and quit allowing myself to be the victim of circumstances? Can I find a balance that says, “Yes, I’m able to take care of myself, and therefore I can take care of you & our future family too”..?? Then, I know I’m on my way to be ready for a serious relationship.

It’s Not About Right Timing & Not Right Place..

One thing I’ve realized is that if the party does not have the 110% intention to be together, then she is not the one for me. I always believe if real intention is there, any obstacles, no matter how insurmountable, can be overcome. If the intention isn’t there, then anything else can come forth as a “reason” for not being together.

It’s stupid to justify different reasons made up in our mind, to fill up the gap between reality & our expectations. I mean, If we keep thinking that we will be together with someone, once the circumstance changes, or once the timing changes, or once become a better person, then perhaps this isn’t the right person.

Because ultimately, it’s not about the right place or right timing. It’s about whether she is the right person. If she is the right person, we would have been together regardless of how wrong the place or timing is. That’s why it’s called the right person. It’s not about having the time, it’s about making the time.

To see reality as it is, see the actions as they are, and let them speak for themselves. Actions ultimately speak louder than words. It gives me certainty on where my partner stands.

Same Effort by The Duo..

Yes, every relationship / love / marriage requires effort by the duo. If you are constantly the one putting in more effort, sooner than later it’ll drain you, and losing yourself identity in the process. I know lots of people said, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.

However, are you prepared to do that for the rest of your life? I mean, you invested yourself into your relationships and poured in your hearts & souls. But, your partners, on the other hand, only put in a fraction of that. They barely cared – it seemed as if the relationship was just a nice add-on to their lives, rather than something they really valued. Is your ideal partner someone who doesn’t care to put effort into the relationship as you?

The Clarity..

Finding a right person isn’t about trying to transform yourself into the perfect image of what you think they want. It’s about being exactly who you are and then finding someone who appreciates that. Because, with the right person, there is no “sacrifice”, but there is only commitment. There is no “useless drama”, or “pretend”, or “test”, there is only “happy / sad story”, “trust” & “respect”.

There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Yup, I’ve learned enough, and ready to step-up, to meet someone, that might change my life forever…

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9 Responses to The Right Person Is..??

  1. Youre so cool! I dont suppose I’ve read anything like this before. So nice to find somebody with some original thoughts on this subject. Really thank you for starting this up. This website is something that is needed on the web, someone with a little originality. Useful job for bringing something new to the internet!

  2. I don’t normally comment but I gotta admit regards for the post on this amazing one :D.

  3. Kena molose says:

    Usually I do not read article on blogs, but I would like to say that this write-up very pressured me to try and do so! Your writing taste has been surprised me. Thanks, quite great post.

  4. aldemart says:

    Uda, your blog is so cool and amazing! Can I make something like this? or can you teach me with your beautiful mind? I want to like you.

  5. armetra says:

    @Goria Martin : Thank you for coming here.. 🙂

    @Kena : Yup, thank you for your comments.

    @Ade: Thank you, Ade. Of course you can make your own blog. I’m sure you have your own style & beautiful mind too. Just explore your idea, and make it real. There is no need to think about what other people say, just write something that you’ve interested, and it will grow over time.. Ok? 🙂

  6. Kristy Lara says:

    1. Someone expects you to be someone you’re not. – Don’t change who you are for anyone else. It’s wiser to lose someone over being who you are, than to keep them by being someone you’re not. Because it’s easier to mend a broken heart, than it is to piece together a shattered identity. It’s easier to fill an empty space in your life where someone else used to be, than it is to fill the empty space inside yourself where YOU used to be.

  7. When in a relationship, it’s not about the labels or becoming official. It’s about getting to know someone well enough to develop genuine feelings for them. It’s about being understanding and forgiving when situations are at their worst. It’s about loving someone, not for what they have to offer but who they are. It’s never about blaming your significant other for not treating you like how you want to be treated, it’s about how hard they try to keep you happy.

  8. Once we have begun this journey of relationship, it naturally flows out to others. It no longer is a burden to love, it’s a pleasure, because you now have what it takes to love others. “Love covers a multitude of sins”. Did you know that if someone hurts your feelings, or does something to hurt you, that you are supposed to love them anyway? How can we? By the Love God has imparted to us when we receive His love.

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