When The Storm Came..

Often, what’s going on in this mind,
is much more compelling, than what’s going on outside..
Maybe life is just a quick succession of busy nothings..
Or, maybe the state of our life is nothing more
than a reflection of our state of mind..

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been completely swamped by work, especially due to Mechanical Completion of this project is on the verge of schedule, while still lot of things shall be done on time. It’s easy to feel panic during this period. Not consistently, but when it comes, it’s been a scary feeling.

I felt that I’m constantly on auto-pilot, working myself to the bone, and falling to overwhelming stress and pressure. I’ve noticed that I get overwhelmed and upset much more easily when I’m feeling tired or a bit grotty. I’m guessing this isn’t just me. I think most of us find that even little things can get blown out of proportion when we’re already run down.

And so I’ve been really focusing for the last couple of days on ways to be calmer, digging myself out, and writing this, is part of it. I know, sometimes, I’ve just got to hang on to something and let the storm run its course. Ultimately, it’s up to me to clear my own thought, as the saying goes that “our thoughts create our reality”.

Because, no matter what, life is really simple, but sometimes I just insist on making it complicated. I know, achieving balance and simplicity is all about making it a habit to do so. It is habitual for me to cut myself some slack when I recognize that I’m putting too much pressure on myself.

Yup, i think, it’s not really about the hours in a day or the days in a week. It’s about having enough energy and being focused on the right things. I can see this overwhelm was coming from trying to focus on few things at once. Try picking two separate objects in the distance, I simply can’t. I know, I wanted to get the whole thing finished. I pretty swiftly realised that this just isn’t a realistic goal. So, I really need to clear-out the priority.

Ultimately, though, there are no easy answers. Sometimes we take on too much. Sometimes we let life get on top of us. Sometimes we’re in the grip of a dark mood, and there’s not necessarily a reason.

And I think, the real enemy is the failure to balance stress with intermittent rest. Because, most of us instinctively run from discomfort, but struggle equally to value rest and renewal. I used to operate instead in a gray zone, rarely fully engaged and rarely deeply relaxed.

But, when I get out of this situation, I hope I can learn something – about myself, about how to manage my energy and my focus, about recognising my own symptoms of impending overwhelm. I don’t really have any answers, but I want to share this because I’m sure that I’m not the only one who ever goes through this stuff. It will get easier, hopefully.

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