“Love doesn’t make the world go round.
Love is what makes the ride worthwhile…”
Well, the time is near, and I’m counting days now. I’m finally arrived at the crucial stage of my romance life. The exciting & thrilling part, so to speak. It’s like, my romance life have been moving forward (in a good & exciting way), from “the topic of the who, the how, or the when” kind of stuff, to the phase of finalizing & starting to execute for marriage life preparation.
And the big challenges are that, not only I have to prepare mentally or physically to marry the woman that I love, I even have to prepare & set-up the marriage life to live overseas for both of us. Big tasks are at the same time! So, I’m writing this post for every couple out there who lives abroad but is getting married at home, or planning a wedding from a distance. And not only wedding, but also “Life After Wedding” itself.
Supposed if you go to any wedding or marriage/love websites, or reading from magazine of book, I believe mostly they’re aimed at people getting married, or some section in regard to set-up marriage life after wedding, but definitely not for expats life. So, whether you’re male or female, young or older, planning a big event from the other side of the world (both in actual miles and cultural “distance”), have its own challenge.
As such, most of my energy & attention are very much focusing on this task nowadays. Although it’s kind of daunting, but I don’t let worry and stress overtake the joy I felt in preparing this. After all, this is the kind of thing for being in love, isn’t it?
Set-Up Marriage Life on Living Abroad
Well, this is the first thing that I’ve put into action. I’ve been living abroad for almost two years as a bachelor/single, and this move present me a chance for a brand new experience. I mean, we both will be braving the world, forging ahead with our new life, and facing the challenge as a team, in a foreign country by ourselves.
Yes, the dream of a new life overseas/abroad is always idyllic and “the dream”. But not all that sentence is 100% true. The reality is not usually all sunny days and a totally stress free life. I know what it’s like when I came here for the first time, as I wrote here. So, first thing first is that to set-up all the things required in order to make her easily adapt & able to live here well with me.
So, first thing first is changing my employment status to become family status. After all, company that I’m currently working will help & support me later for her relocation. This change also allow me to develop financial budget and planning for saving properly. Well, what’s the point of having career overseas without good saving, right?
Then, I’m trying to find a good apartment also, of course in a good area for couple/family life. The apartment with attested contract from government municipality itself, also the mandatory requirement related to residence visa for spouse (I’ll write about this story later on different post). Having a valid visa is essential for a successful move, if she doesn’t have visa, it’s not possible for her to come here, right?
Another thing, I was certainly no stranger to culture shock and lifestyle differences. There was a time that I’d find that no matter how proficient I am in a second language, there would be situations when I struggle to effectively communicate and that was slightly frustrating. And this is the main thing that I want to ensure that she can avoid later. Well, at least she will have me to adapt smoothly on living overseas, right?
Well, maybe expat life has its own challenged, but for me, it was the best thing that ever happened in my life. Because, It has taught me many lessons to be independent, responsible, have respect, and above all, appreciate the people and the world around me. To adapt to a different culture with a different set of rules and learning the difference between fiction and reality, those are the lessons that stay with me, that shape me.
So, the thing is, what I want to give to her is mainly about giving herself a chance for self-enrichment and reinvention. Because, When you are away, there is a sense of quiet that develops in your mind and allows you to see yourself very clearly. Once we both live here as a couple, I also want to make her thinking that this will be the best thing happened to her life.
The biggest challenge, of course, to make her understand for adjusting the realistic expectation and able to find happiness in the midst of uncertainty. Because, she also has to do a lot of moving & packing related to her current life in Jakarta. I know it’s kind of overwhelming, especially, we both also don’t have a permanent place to live in Jakarta itself. But, the truth is that, it’s also because we were thrown into this situation that made us able to develop a stronger trust. And that’s the thing that I’m treasured, mostly.
Planning Wedding from Abroad
Yes, for sure, I’m by no means a wedding planner. I had never even planned a large event before I got engaged. But in planning our wedding from over 4,000 miles away (including different timezone), I didn’t find much topic about it. So, yes, we both learning by doing (kind of like “fresh graduate with new job”, LOL!!).
Well, not much the thing that I can write actually, because the secret for this one is simple. To plan weddings from abroad, I have families back in my home country who more or less took care of everything, while we are take decision such as the fixed date, dowry, souvenir types, etc. Beside that, some event at the wedding related to local cultures of my hometown is best if it’s handled by family at home.
And yes, I’m very much thankful for that. It makes it so much easier to plan a wedding from a faraway if there are families to help out. For me, it was my Mom. Probably, she was more stress than me, but that’s a Mom’s nature, no? So, thank you, Mom… Thank you so much….
I hope everything will go smoothly as planned with no problems…amin